Deal Breakers

Day 32

Every day started to feel the same, it's been over a month here and I was so excited to know that in ten short days, we'd not only be done with this game show but possibly a little richer. Thoughts like these were positive, something to look forward to. I was lying on the grass in front of the Community Cabin, my eyes shut while red and yellow lights my lids from the sun beaming down on me. The grass tickled the back of my legs, a slight breeze blew through  I could smell the trees around me, which I didn't know was possible until now. I was deep in my head, the sounds of people passing by muffled by how clear my thoughts were for the first time in forever. 

I'd decided to take a moment on the lawn of cabin five, to relax and enjoy the nice sunny day we were having. But as I thought about the positives that came with the show ending, I also found myself thinking about the negatives. Like how I'd miss these cabins I hated at first, or the lake I learned to swim in. The imagine of me saying goodbye to Chase again, wondering if he'd start coming around more or if I wouldn't see him for another four years.  My peace and tranquility broken by my own hateful thoughts toward myself. 

That's when the dark shadow appeared, blocking the sun from my view. When I opened my eyes it was Peter standing in front of me, a grin on his face as he took me all in. "Should I take a picture?"

I cocked a brow at him. "What for?"

"Layla Collins, laying on the dirty ground in the middle of the afternoon with the hot sun beating down on her." He put a hand to his chest as if he was about to have a heart attack. "Where is my fiancé?"

I chuckled at him, he was acting silly and more himself than I've seen him in weeks. Maybe the idea of this all coming to an end hit him too. Maybe he's relieved to be going home and for this to be over.

I propped myself up on my elbows, smiling up at  him. "I guess it all kind of grew on me." I wasn't lying to him either. I started to enjoy the smell of the grass, or the sound of the birds singing their melodic song early in the morning. 

He bent down, letting the sun return to shine down on me once more. The warmth settling on my face and shoulders. "You've never looked more beautiful," He whispered with a kiss to my forehead. Peter gave me compliments through out our relationship, but this was different. It was more tender, the way his eyes softened and his lips brushed my skin. I was a little surprised. 

"Thank you," I said with a sigh relief. Maybe once we got home everything could just go back to normal, or better than it was before. Out of sigh out of mind, right? Chase would be out of our hair and I could be happy with Peter, again. 

Peter ruffled my hair before shooting back up, "I have a run, care to join me?"

I shook my head. "Maybe tomorrow, I'd like to sit here and enjoy the peace."

He nodded in agreement. "See you later, gorgeous." With a wave and wink he was gone just as fast as he'd appeared. I was left wanting more of that moment, more of that gentle and loving sunshine. I'd spent four years with him and found myself only ever getting a few moments of his light, a glimpse into him. I could tell you exactly how he liked the towels folded in the bathroom, but ask me what his biggest fear was and I don't know if I could answer. A tough realization so many years later. 

I blew out a sigh of frustration and confusion. Is it possible to love them both this much? What a tangled web I've weaved in my month here. I lay back down, close my eyes and let the sun melt away my feelings of confusion and self loathing. I thought I could return to my solo relaxation but a moment later the grass rustled next to me and I was afraid to open my eyes to see who it was. 

"Was that Peter?" The gentle voice of Samantha spoke. 

I opened my eyes up wide, shocked it was her and mildly disappointed it wasn't Chase. She was sitting across from me, her legs crossed and her elbow propping her head up in her palms. Her dark hair in her signature tight ponytail.