Resist: To Love is To Suffer

Chapter One

My house was filled to the brim with people, more that I didn't recognize than I did. A dozen different conversations rattled around in my ears as I moved through the crowd, offering fake smiles and a "thanks for stopping by" to those I passed. The dining room table was stacked with gifts of all sizes, and I dreaded when evening came and I would have to catalogue the gifts by sender and draft personalized thank you cards for each.

A heavy hand slapped my shoulder, and I turned to find Killian wearing a wide grin. He tossed an envelope onto the table, "Send the card to Ma. I wasn't going to give you shit."

"Noted." I couldn't help but smirk, tempted to dog him for what else I'd send his Ma if given the chance. "The boys are already outside. Capo snuck some Peroni into the cooler." He slapped my shoulder again before heading outside, arms thrown into the air as he greeted our friends with a shout. I gave the dining room table a final glare before going back to mingling.

The next couple hours dragged, and the endless sea of faces I didn't recognize congratulating me for doing the bare minimum had grown increasingly tiresome. As the crowd began to thin, I camped out in the kitchen, seated at the bar with a dwindling spread of canapés. This day needed to be done, and the worst part hadn't even started. In a few hours, I'd be in a stuffy auditorium with the rest of my graduating class, brushing elbows with people whose names I wouldn't remember upon waking up tomorrow, impatiently waiting for a grouchy old man to call my name and give me a sheet of paper. When I'd suggested skipping graduation and the obligatory open house, my dad had rapped the back of my head hard enough to give me whiplash and asked why I wanted to take such an important day away from my mother.

"Valentino," a familiar voice rang behind me, prickling the hairs at the back of my neck. I turned to see Naomi, the goddess of a woman that somehow birthed the spawn of Satan I had claimed as my best friend. She wore a modest sundress that nearly left me drooling over her figure, the light from the floor to ceiling windows behind her bathing her in an ethereal glow.

"Ma, I didn't expect to see you. Ky's out back."

"I know better than to interrupt time with The Boys," she laughed, and it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. I struggled to keep a lovestruck grin off my face. "Did Killian drop off our present?"

"He tossed an envelope on the gift table."

She frowned and sucked her teeth, "Bah, he forgets the most important things. Stop by the house later to pick it up." She reached around me to grab one of the canapés, a woody floral scent wafting from her skin and blinding my senses. I tensed in my seat, flexing my hands to stop myself from reaching out to her. "Tell your mother she did beautifully with the party," she took a bite of bruschetta, her fingers lingering on her lips. I swallowed hard as her tongue flicked out, licking the tomato from her thumb, desperately wishing to replace it with my own. "Mmm, if only she shared her recipes."

"She'd have to kill you if she told you," my mouth had gone dry, my voice dragged through gravel on its way out.

She laughed and brushed her thumb across her lower lip, "Don't I know it. But congratulations, Valentino. A capstone diploma is quite an achievement. You'll have a bright future if you continue to apply yourself."

"Thanks, Ma," I said through a wide grin, and for the first time that day, I meant it.

I watched her walk away before throwing my head back and exhaling the tension that had built up. I took a moment to push away the mental image of her fingers lingering on her lips, full and rosy and begging to get caught between my teeth, before heading toward the deck. Without a distraction, I'd follow her and make a fool of myself. This goddess of a woman would never entertain someone like me, despite how much I craved her. I was a friend of her son. I was half her age, with less than half her life experience. I was hours away from graduating high school, and she'd already had four children to an ex-husband who had never fucking deserved her. Nothing about this could work, but the dream remained.