Resist: To Love is To Suffer

Chapter Eleven

For the first time in over a month, I slept in my bedroom. For the first time ever, I slept beside a girl I'd fucked senseless through the night. And for the first time in years, I didn't wake up after dreaming of Naomi. I felt the ache of her loss, felt the emptiness that surrounded me when I wasn't buried balls deep in my not-so-shy-anymore girl, but she was just a shadow haunting the edges of my mind. Maybe Riley was a cure, or maybe she was just a bandage slapped haphazardly over my wounds, but regardless, she was the only reason I woke up in my own bed instead of in a flaming car careened off a mountain pass.

After rolling out of bed, I joined her for a shower before showing her to my closet. She sorted through the shelves and hangers, searching for anything that wouldn't hang down to her knees, throwing her hands up in frustration when she couldn't find anything.

"You have to have old shit from when you were a kid lying around somewhere! Why are you a damn giant?"

I stood behind her, arms loosely circling her waist, and laid my chin on top of her wet hair. "I'm not. You're just tiny. Here," I pulled a compression tee and a pair of running shorts off a shelf above her head, "These might work."

I stepped back as she dropped her towel, slipping into the outfit I'd chosen. She had to roll the waistband of the shorts a few times to get them to stay up, and the shirt hung loosely down past her hips. I watched her as she checked herself out in the mirror, turning side to side, her face a scowl. I didn't understand why she was upset - she had never looked better than she did right now.

"If you ever invite me over again, remind me to grab an overnight bag. I can't deal with this again." She turned to me and smiled, pushing away her frustration, "Thank you, though."

"Sure. You want breakfast?"

I threw on some joggers before leading her downstairs. She stayed tucked under my arm, as if something around us would reach out to strike her. It was late, almost 10am, and the house was alive with chaos. I could hear Capo and my brothers in the living room, screaming along to a rerun match on TV like they didn't know the outcome. As we walked into the kitchen, Mamma paused her bustling and looked over with a huge smile.

"Guarda i piccioncini! Who is this?"

"Riley." I looked down at her, at the flush in her cheeks. She raised a hand to wave and tucked her face against my side. My voice was soft, only meant for her, "Hey, no hiding, okay?"

"What did she say?"

"Don't worry about it. Here," I guided her to the bar, pulling out one of the chairs and helping her climb up into it. "You want coffee?"

"Yes, please." She was so timid, no overwhelmingly nervous. I wanted to scoop her up into my arms and carry her back upstairs, I wanted to see her bold side come out again.

I walked around the bar and pulled my mom into a hug, kissing her cheeks. "Buongiorno, mamma. C'è ancora del caffè?"

"Ne farò un po'. Ma ora hai una ragazza? Quando è successo? Tu non mi dici niente!" She slapped my shoulder and pushed me away. I looked over at Riley, and her eyes were glued to her hands, folded in her lap.

"Mamma," I sighed, "Riesci a comportarti bene? Christ. You're embarrassing her."

"Comportarsi? Pensi che io debba comportarmi bene?" She walked around the bar and sat beside Riley, resting a ring-ladened hand on my shy girl's shoulder. "If this boy does you wrong, you tell me. I will end his sorry life in a second, you hear me? Uffa, hiding such a pretty girl from me! How do you take your coffee, signorina?"

"Black is fine, I don't want to be a bother," her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Dai, so boring. I will make something you will like."