Not My Life | gxg

Chapter Twenty-Two

Bethany settled on her bed and video-called Kita; she picked up just as Bethany was about to hang up. She was in her kitchen, and she held up a finger to indicate she shouldn't start talking yet.

'Yes, Mum,' Kita sighed.

'The attitude isn't helpful, Kita,' Sakura said while Kita rolled her eyes at Bethany and left the room.

'Sorry, you caught me mid-lecture,' Kita said and took the stairs at a run so the phone bobbed violently, making Bethany feel a little sick.

'What was it about?'

'I'm booking my driving test. She thinks I'm too young, although for once, Dad's on my side. It was actually his idea.'

'It's crazy to think you'll be on the road yourself soon.'

Kita kicked the door shut and scoffed. 'I am a really responsible person. So, how's Alex?'

'Good, but that's not why I'm ringing. Ben came to see me.'

Kita raised an eyebrow. 'He did? Why?'

'He said you'd had a go, and he wanted to apologise.'

Kita settled at her desk and leaned the phone against something so she didn't have to hold it. 'Ah yeah, I did tell him about Alex. I hope that's okay. In my defence, it sort of slipped out.'

'That's fine. But you know he wasn't completely wrong.'

'Bethany, don't start—'

'Just hear me out, okay? I'm not saying how he went about it was great, but he had a point about me not telling the group. I did say I was going to. And it wasn't that I was avoiding it. I just sort of allowed myself to get distracted by other things.'

'To be fair, the comic meeting was cancelled,' Kita pointed out in Bethany's defence.

'I could have told them,' Bethany said firmly.

'You were distracted by important things,' Kita said.

'Important until I compare them to things that are actually important, like Alex and you.'

'You know more than one thing can be true at the same time.'

Bethany looked away for a moment, searching for a way to get across what she wanted to convey. Kita waited, allowing the silence to stretch. It was one of the things that had never changed about Kita; she had always allowed Bethany room. To make mistakes. To think. To just be. Even when they were kids, Kita never rushed Bethany, and being given this type of space was comforting.

'Ben said you were in a bad place when Isabelle died, more than you've kind of hinted at. And that Isabelle was messy, and you had all these unresolved issues you couldn't work through because she died.'

'Ben is just all about being a bit messy himself at the moment, isn't he?' Kita muttered and ran her hand across the back of her neck. 'Isabelle was pretty selfish. She wanted me, so she pursued me, and then when she got bored, she just broke up with me abruptly. Being broken up didn't stop her from kissing me at school without warning or calling me late to persuade me to sneak out at night. I think a lot of it was shock factor—she liked surprising people. But it really messes with your head when you're on the receiving end of this hot and cold treatment.

'I loved her but I was getting real tired of the way she was treating me. We ended up having this pretty explosive fight where I told her I wasn't going to do it anymore, that I was through, and we were completely over. She told me I'd regret it, that I'd miss her, and then she died. So, I suppose she was kinda right. It was hard, knowing the last time we spoke was a fight. Plus, knowing the pattern we were stuck in, it probably wouldn't have been done for good. I'd have no doubt let her play with me a little longer, and that made everything just feel so unfinished. And I resented her a little; she made me love her, and then she dipped. Which is crazy because it isn't like she died on purpose.'