Red Thread of Hate

Charging Batteries

“I'm really sorry! I'll pay you back the advance you gave me-”

“Woah, woah, girl. Calm down.” the voice from your phone answered and you sank deeper into the mattress “What is it about? You've never fuckin' reported such delays before.”

“This is not a delay, I won't be able to do it.” you covered your face with one hand and held the phone to your ear with the other

“Is your honeymoon taking up your time?” you heard the man chuckle and you really wished you could laugh with him

So this morning you decided that you had to inform your clients that you wouldn't be able to do the job. The fact was that you usually didn't spend the advances they gave you, so you gave them back easily, although seeing your account balance dwindle made your throat tighten. Most of them took it calmly and understandingly, although there were a few who got very angry and you made a mental note not to accept their orders next time. They didn't pay enough for you to still have to deal with their moods.
Yesterday, when you lost your source of income, you initially wanted to fight for it, but it only made things worse and you felt trapped in hell like never before. You wanted to get your things back somehow, but you had no idea where they were or if they even still existed. So you started informing customers.

Of course, you always have that one client who just has to start bombarding you with questions.

“I really would like to.” you answered his playful question “But it's my, well, my husband takes away my source of income.”

“And the fuck that mean? He didn't take your computer and tablet! Right?”

“Would I otherwise not be able to work?”

Also yesterday you decided that you had to find a place to sleep very quickly, so in the evening you ran out to the nearest store that might have a mattress. So you got one and happily took it to that one room that every house had and no one used. So now you had a room, a storage locker, with a mattress filling half the space, and some sort of three-drawer cabinet.

Well, you lived in worse conditions, so getting used to it wasn't difficult.

And if you were to be treated like garbage, you would find a place for yourself in your house, where garbage is usually placed.

“Fuck, that sounds shitty.” the man replied and you sighed devastated

“Look, I... I don't know when I'll get it back, but, you know, if I do, I'll work for you for half the price, okay?” you offered pleadingly, not wanting to lose a regular customer “I'll do anything…”

“Hey, hey, chill, doll.” he interrupted you  “I'm not saying I'm breakin’ the contract. Besides, you know what? I'll save up some money if you want and buy you some new stuff for work. I mean, he took your old shit, but he won't do the same with the new one, right?”

You froze speechlessly, tears of gratitude welling up in your eyes, but you couldn't agree to the offer and you knew it. Apparently your silence bothered him because he spoke again.

“Doll?” he called out “Ya all right?”

“Yes, I…” you replied with a cracking voice and cleared your throat so as not to sound like a crybaby “I appreciate the offer but it's not necessary, uh…”

“Do you want to meet and talk?”

“Maybe…” you hesitated. Oh yes, that stupid rule that you can't go out… “I don't know if I can do it.”

“Why not?”

“No offense, but you should probably know these rules.” you winced as the words came out of your mouth because they sounded harsher than you wanted them to.