Is love a curse - Sukunaxreader / Gojoxreader

The last time

Authors note I smoked while writing this. So, if you find a typo, I hope that a killer whale will eat your face. Okay see you later and if there is no mistake enjoy!

My eyes snap open, and my heart pounds in my chest as I frantically search for (F/N) beside me, relieved to see her safe and sound, away from the terrors of my dreams. My breath is gone, and I can feel sweat dripping down my brow. It doesn't even cross my mind If I could be dead or that hell could exist. My body automatically gravitates towards her. My arms circle around her tiny waist, lifting her into my chest. My breathing is still ragged and uneven as I press my cheek against her forehead, her small body against mine, my arms wrapped around her protectively and gently. She makes no sounds, and she is too warm to the touch. With her by my side, my heart feels a sense of relief that is so profound that it overpowers the otherwise deafening screams and terrifying thoughts in my mind. The sharp intake of breath made her stir and snuggle closer. "Satoru," she grumbles sleepily as her hands slip around my chest and her leg kicks over my waist. Her warm breath heats my neck, causing me to shiver as she places a sleep kiss on my peck.

My body relaxes into her touch, my hand pushing under my head, my gaze studying the ceiling. (F/N) soft breaths fanning against the curve of my neck. I tried to focus on (F/N) peacefully sleeping beside me. But with each beat of her heart, a thousand thoughts are triggered in my mind. The darkest one of them all... my mind kept bringing me back to that damned dream. I didn't like the way the dream had made me feel. I had never felt fear like that in the year since high school when I had fought Toji. Yet here was this weird sensation like my insides were shaking or a hole had been ripped out of the pit of my stomach and taken out the core of my being, a cold ice crystal of reality. I had been consumed by a black hole of dread and utter desperation as my worst fears played out in a nightmare.

My nostrils flare as I remember that vivid picture of her lifeless corpse on a hospital gurney. Her pallid, clammy skin is now ghostly white, her eyes closed forever, her warm smile and expressive eyes blank and still. Would that be her reality because of me? My heart starts pounding, a buzz in my ears deafens me from the outside world, my head pounds and my heartbeat is fast, I think. I shut my eyes tightly. She was clearly my weakness and a big one at that. What if that dream was a reality? Would I have still allowed my emotions to override my better judgment and reason? Would I have been killed because I couldn't focus on anything but the pain and thought that was pumping through me, not caring that Sukuna was around? I couldn't care less. My pain was the only thing I cared about; the anguish was weighing me down in both my dream and in real life. It would consume me and take her if I wasn't strong enough. I had allowed my heart to open back up, and now it was taking control, letting myself care once more, unable to fully let her go. If only she had been anyone else.

My mind flashes back to the images of her face. What bothered me most was the way her face contorted in complete and total terror, not even fear as a single sound left her mouth but those (E/C) eyes. It was the (E/C) I remembered most of my dream, that pained and betrayed gaze, the knowledge in her eye that her death was sealed, nothing could save her in the moment, and that was the most torturous aspect. Even the anguish of that memory didn't give way to how terrified it had been. What I hated the most was it gave my heart a sharp ache for her now. The pain I remembered being all too real. It had been hard to ignore those feelings then. Hard to look her in the eye without a stabbing reminder.

But what if it was love? Is this what the beginning stages of falling in love would feel like? Everything was heightened by her touch, or was it already too late? Was I caught up in the one thing that could be my downfall? fucking love, it was indeed the worst curse of them all. It was scary how intense this feeling was already. I felt comforted by her touch, but most of all, she understood me. Over the years, as I became stronger and stronger, other sorcerers couldn't understand me, and some even feared me. My best friend and I had grown slightly distant because of the power differential. I understood that I was willing to take on their burdens and be the strongest to be the monster they needed to be safe and protect their lives. That was my destiny. I had willingly submitted myself to the role they had given me; unfeeling and egotistical were just some of the names tossed about. I was not ignorant or blind to how they saw me, and I didn't blame them because I didn't let anyone in. I didn't think that would change for the rest of eternity, but then she walked into my life. We had spent two years together as mere fuck buddies, and look what she had done, destroyed my view of life.