Before the Battle

Family name 8/17

The house looked just as I remembered it.

There were only small changes that my mother had made during the war: the reinforced front door, the bars on the windows on the ground floor, the stone wall around the back terrace...

As night fell and the sun disappeared behind the grey clouds, the lights in the windows lit up.

We walked through snowy garden to the lighted porch, where my nervousness reached its maximum.

I removed my hand from Shira's.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this," I whispered to him. "In front of my mother, I'd rather not say that you and I are... It's better if she doesn't know..." I babbled nervously.

I scolded myself for being a coward. I wasn't ashamed of him or what was between us. Not in the least. But my conservative, uptight mother hated me already, and I didn't want to add to her cup of resentment by coming home hand in hand with my male lover.

I felt stupid in front of Shira. I didn't want him to take it the wrong way. Especially since he never felt the need to hide anything.

"I'm sorry, I... I'm so sorry," I apologised over and over.

"Taira," he smiled. "I will do as you say. It is your decision, your family. If you want, we'll behave as mere friends in front of your mother. I understand. You have a lot on your plate right now and you don't want to deal with other matters as well."

"Thank you."

The words seemed completely inadequate to express how grateful I was to him. How much I appreciated him being with me, understanding my fears and supporting me no matter what I decided.

"I love you," I had to say, although even those words didn't express everything.

He smiled that beautiful smile meant only for me, gave my hand a last quick squeeze and then stepped back a little. As befitting ordinary friends.

My mother appeared at the door moments after Shira rang the bell. Surely she knew exactly who she would see behind the door. Tamiko must have already informed her of my arrival.

She hadn't changed much in the time I hadn't seen her. She might have got a few wrinkles, but her face was still very beautiful. My sister had inherited her looks.

Mother's thin lips were drawn together in an almost hostile expression, her blue-green eyes stern and unapproachable.

Nervousness tightened my throat, my stomach clenched. Worse than before the fight.

"Mum?" I addressed her quietly.

She didn't even look at me.

"Shira, you're just in time, we're having dinner," she greeted my black-haired companion with a smile.

As if I wasn't there.

My friend gave me a quick look, a little taken aback by his mother's behaviour. Unlike him, I wasn't expecting a warm welcome, so the fact that she just ignored me was actually an improvement.

Shira shrugged and pushed me towards the door.

"No, he won't," she objected sharply. "That traitor will not cross the threshold of my house."

"If Taira won't go, neither will I," he said firmly, meeting my mother's stern gaze without blinking. "And I'm sorry that I only just found out that he's your son."

"He is not my s..."

"No, he is your son," he interrupted her firmly. "A son who has come to the aid of his family despite the great risks he has taken to do so."