Before the Battle

Reckoning 20/20

--Taira--

I stood on the raised platform in front of all my soldiers, nervously clutching a piece of paper.

Many thoughts ran through my head, but the first was that I should have listened to Maya, who had tried to talk me out of leaving the hospital so soon.  

Although Daichi and Shira, along with the other officers, had done a good job of calming the situation as best they could, it became clear that the sooner I showed myself to my soldiers, the better.

And the signing of our pact with Kano and the local clans seemed like a good opportunity to prove that I was alive and well.

My eyes swept the rows of soldiers standing before me, barely able to squeeze into the open space at the centre of the camp. No one wanted to miss the sight of their heroic general.

I really didn't know what was so heroic about getting shot and nearly killed. But whatever I had done in the past few weeks, I had always come out looking like the great and fearless leader.

Unlike Shira, whose actions weren't seen as heroic, but rather as a reason to stay far away from him. That annoyed me at first, because I didn't want everyone to see him as a former assassin of the Emperor who was now doing the same job for me. Eventually, Daichi told me to let it go, that it was good to have someone at my side who inspired such fear.

Sitting behind me, proud and confident, were Chairwoman Hannara and several other Council members who had travelled all the way from Kashima to witness the signing of the treaty. But the real reason was probably to make sure I didn't pull any more idiotic stunts and mess things up.

And Shira stood faithfully by my side, as he always did.

My eyes swept over the soldiers again and I nervously gripped the paper Erica had given me. The speech she had prepared and insisted I read to my soldiers here.

A speech full of lofty phrases about a united country and a bright future. It wasn't a bad speech, but it wasn't for me. Someone else should read it.

Kano sat in a place of honour beside my officers and friends, watching me intently, waiting for my speech. His son held his hand; a black-haired boy, tall for his age, who was the only one not looking at me, but at Shira to my right.

It was the first time I'd seen him, and I understood immediately that the boy had taken a liking to my warrior.

And how could he not? After all, Shira was amazing, brave and defended them from the raiders. He would have been so much better suited to be a fearless leader than me.

Then I remembered what Kano had said to me earlier.

//

"I was wrong about you, General Imara.

Kano was older than me, a hard, straight and honest man. A man to respect and to follow. A true leader.

"On the contrary, I think you were right. I really am just a scared boy."

"Courage is not to never be afraid, but to do something in spite of fear. And that's who you are, Taira," he said, and I found it hard not to blush at his praise.

"Still, I don't feel like a leader. Others would be better suited for that job."

"It's natural to have doubts. Leadership is hard work and a big responsibility. But you're not alone. You have friends around you to help you."

He paused as he noticed groups of soldiers beginning to gather for my final performance. The thought of having to speak to all those people made me queasy. It was easier to lead them into battle than to play the great general in front of them.

"They have all decided to follow you," Kano spoke again. "They don't want anyone else, they have chosen you. And it's up to you to decide if you will answer their call."

//

With Kano's words still in my mind, I took a step forward, swallowed hard and looked at the speech written on the paper. I cleared my throat nervously, the pain in my chest still lingering and once again I regretted not staying in the safety of my hospital room.

"I'm sure you all heard that I was wounded, and you may have heard that I was dying," I began to read the sentences, a little unsure of myself.

"But I stand before you now, stronger and more determined than ever..."

My chest tightened painfully at the memory of my wound and I had to pause for a few seconds before finding the strength to continue.

"As your general, as your undefeated leader, I will lead you into a new era, into a bright new future..."

I continued to recite the sentences that didn't belong to me, each one mocking me and accusing me of lying.

I fell silent and put the paper with the long speech, of which I had barely read a few sentences, into my pocket. I could not go on.

I stepped down from the platform among my soldiers, Shira following me like a silent shadow.

"It's not my place to read these noble words," I said, avoiding Erica's gaze, who I was sure would give me a good scolding afterwards for behaving like an irresponsible child who couldn't even read a prepared speech properly.

"I am not a fearless leader or a heroic general," I continued. "I am a soldier like you, doing what each of you does. Fighting for what I believe in."

I walked slowly through the rows of soldiers, who listened intently.

"True, I could have died, but my life isn't more important than any of yours. We all bleed and die for what we hold dear." I looked at Shira and smiled.

"We have lost a lot over the years and I am not going to lie to you and promise you a bright future. But I can promise you this. We will always fight for what we love and we will never let anyone take it away from us. Whether it's our friends, our families or our country."

I paused and thought about how much trouble I had caused by not following the prepared speech, but now that I had said this, I felt much better.

There was complete silence around me, all eyes on me.

Suddenly, one by one, the soldiers began to kneel.

A gesture not befitting a general or a councillor, the soldiers only knelt before the Emperor.

But now they were kneeling before me.

Row upon row, hundreds upon hundreds of men in the same uniform.

Kano joined them, followed by the other clan leaders and Maya, Daichi, Kioshi and Sorner.

I felt foolish, out of place and wanted to tell them to stand up, that I wasn't entitled to this honour.

Shira, still standing beside me, understood my embarrassment and before I could speak, he took my hand and whispered, "They want you to be their leader. They have chosen you. Accept it, Taira."

Then he knelt before me as well.

And me?

What could I do but accept my destiny?

-----

We're almost at the end of the book, there's a final one-shot story that will act as an epilogue and bring the whole book to a close.