Midnight sun

11 | Noah

This day is a rollercoaster of emotions for me, But after he takes out a box with a cake in it I absolutely crumble at that.

Dylan uncovers the cake, it is chocolaty and round and perfect. And then he fishes out the candles from the paper bag, numbers two and one and puts them in the middle of the cake. I realize that my hands are shaking, and I put down the beer bottle. When he takes the lighter from his pocket and lights the candles, I feel the tears slowly sliding down my cold cheeks.

"I thought..." Dylan says but then he looks at me, his eyes go wide. "Fuck, I don't know what I was thinking. Sorry, this was a stupid idea, but..."

"No, no, God... it's... It's..." I can't even form a coherent sentence. "Fuck. I can't stop crying, I'm so sorry. I can't remember the last time I cried."

"Hey." His hand reaches out and his big palm squeezes my shoulder. "Crying is good, it means you're healing. Don't ever apologise for that. I just hope this is ok. I thought you would like to celebrate."

I wipe my face with my sleeves and take a few deep breaths. And I'm staring at the twinkling lights of the burning candles in between us.

"Happy birthday, Maya." He says and pushes the cake towards me. I swallow thickly and look at him, and then at the clear sky, imagining that one of the emerging stars is her soul.

"Happy birthday, Maya, I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you." And then I blow the candles out. Another rush of tears streaks down my cheeks.

Minutes pass in silence before Dylan clears his throat. "I bought some utensils, in case you would like to try some."

I turn to him and let out a long breath. Then there is a huge smile on my face. "This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done to me. Thank you."

He seems uncomfortable at the words, just shrugs his shoulder. "I was a bit of a dick to you, I apologize for that. I should've asked you if you had any problems before firing you."

"Does this mean I'm allowed to come back?"

He doesn't say anything just rolls his eyes like he's done with me. I smile again. And then can't stop smiling. It's stupid because I'm still kind of crying. He probably thinks I'm such a mess.

"You'll come back. But no more drinking on a work day. Or any heavy drinking for that matter."

"Yes, sir."

"I told you not..." I laugh so hard at this and he presses his lips tight like he wants to stop himself from laughing too.

He peels the label of his beer bottle, like his thinking too hard about something. "I'll also appreciate it if you don't mention this to the others. Any of this from today. I am friendly with most of the guys, sometimes we even go to the bar for a few rounds on a weekend. But I try to be very professional. Also, I try to keep my private life private." He looks at me pointedly, and I know he means the man in his house from today. His boyfriend?

"Yeah. I understand. I won't say anything, I get it." I moul, wondering if I should ask this. But he's done all this for me, and I dare to ask. "So you're not out?"

"I'm not out but... I'm also not hiding it. If someone asks I won't lie. People close to me know it, my old man knows it... A long time ago, when I lived in Anchorage I was pretty open about it. I just chose not to say anything to anyone after... When I moved over here. I had my reasons."

"Not trusting people." I repeat what he told me not long ago. But I didn't miss that there is something else that he hides.

He looks at me. "You know something about that too?"