A Change of Heart

Chapter 37

I wish I could stay in bed all day. I wish I didn’t have to turn off my alarm and get out of bed. I wish I didn’t have to brush my teeth and take a shower at 4 in the morning. I wish I wasn’t dressed, eating my cereal while the sun is still rising. I wish I wasn’t driving to work.

Unfortunately, my reality is quite depressing. I have to go to work and sit on a chair for 13 hours. At least last night was enjoyable, or else it would make my day even worse. Speaking of making my day worse, I have to deliver another package today. Yay.

Later in the day, I see Anna out of her office. Nobody has injured themselves. She’s walking to Joanna’s office. I’ve never seen Anna go to her office before. Now I’m worried. Is she in trouble with Joanna? Is she getting… fired?

I keep looking at the hallway, waiting for Anna to come back. I can’t focus on work knowing that she might be leaving. She is one of my best friends, I care about her. She makes work bearable. 

Finally, Anna walks to her office. She doesn’t seem like she’s sad, I’m pretty sure she’s even smiling. So, she didn’t get fired? Then again, she might be happy that she gets to leave. I know I’d be jumping if I got to leave this place. An hour passes, she hasn’t left her office. Is she staying, or is Joanna making her work for the rest of the day before she goes?

At 7pm, I rush over to her office. Anna comes out the door, no boxes or anything. Looks like she didn’t get fired. I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Are you ok?” she asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Well, I was worried you had gotten in trouble,” I answer. Anna looks genuinely shocked, but starts laughing.

“Why would you think that?” she smiles.

“I’ve never seen you go to Joanna’s office before, so I prepared for the worst case scenario,” I say.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anytime soon. Yesterday, I had sent Joanna an email asking if I could have a meeting with her. This morning she responded. We were discussing strategies of preventing self-harm and suicide in the workplace,” Anna explains. I’m going to let myself believe I put Joanna in a good enough mood for her to agree.

“That’s great,” I smile.

“It is. I’ve tried before, but she’d usually ignore my emails. I’m so grateful she even responded,” Anna says. Guess I’m right after all. Wait… the package! I quickly say goodbye and get the package from my cubicle. I rush to my car and turn on the engine. Suddenly, the speed limit seems so slow. 

I’m so dead! I get to his house an hour later, the yard is empty. Thank you Jesus, I’m not late. I put the package on his porch and get back to my car. 

The next day, I head to the gym after work. I see Anna talking to Jace and Tracy on the bench. 

“Hey guys,” I greet.

“Glad you have allowed us to enjoy your presence today,” Jace mocks. I roll my eyes and go to the changing room. Once I’m out, I join them on the bicycles. 

It's nice hanging out, the four of us. Tracy keeps Jace in check when he plays around too much (which he always does). 

 “Howard, I'm going to a party next week Friday. It's an engagement party for an old friend of mine. Would you like to come with me?” Anna asks.

“Sure, what time should I pick you up?” I say.

“Are you really discussing your next date while doing cardio?” Jace chuckles.

“And this is the same guy who asked me out while he was bench pressing,” Tracy remarks. We all laugh. After the workout, I offer to drop Anna off.

“I can't wait to see you at the party, thanks again for accepting,” Anna smiles.

“I think it would be nice to go to a party with my friend,” I say. 

“Bye,” she says as she walks to the gate. I wave and drive back to my house. On the way, Becky calls me. 

“Hey Becky,” I greet.

“Hey, how are you?” she asks, it's clear she's not happy.

“Well, I could be better, but I'm fine,” I reply.

“Mom told me you promised to visit for a week. You might not be able to come to my wedding at all! Why would you tell her that!?” Becky shouts.

“She'd called me the day after you did. When I said I might not come to your wedding, she was heartbroken. I felt so bad because I can never visit you guys and I miss you so much and… here we are,” I ramble.

“Sorry for yelling. We miss you too, but mom will be heartbroken if you don't come through,” Becky explains.

“That's why I need to do everything in my power to make it happen,” I respond.

“You better pray that it's in God's plan for you to do it,” Becky sighs.

“Don't worry, I already have,” I reply.

“Alright, take care of yourself,” she says. 

“You too,” she hangs up the phone. Once I'm home, I pray that God will let me go to Becky's wedding and go to sleep.