A Change of Heart

Chapter 46

I'm still holding her arm... she hasn't moved. She's looking at me... she's beautiful.

"Howard, what are you doing?" she says.

"Stay... please. I don't want... to sleep," I slur. She still... hasn't moved. She sighs... and sits back down. I smile.

"Have I... told you how... pretty you are?" I say.

"Yes, you have," she answers.  She moves... next to... me.

"Since you're drunk, you probably won't remember this tomorrow anyway," she sighs. What?...

"Can you recall when you sang that song to me?" Joanna asks. My brain's... fuzzy. When did I... sing her a... song?

"Yeah," I lie. 

"I cried when I got home. The song moved me, and I got overwhelmed by my emotions. When I was crying, I felt arms wrapping around me... even though I was alone. I think it was God," she explains. Overwhelmed... Holy Spirit.

"I'm starting to understand it. Why you have peace with such a miserable life. Someone loves you, is looking out for you," her voice... is breaking. Is she... going to cry?

"I'll probably tell you this again once you're sober, but I'll exclude the crying part," she says. I sit up... and lay... next to her.

"I love you... God loves you," I say. Tears... more tears... good tears? She holds me. My girlfriend... my love.

"But why? I'm not good enough," she cries.

"That's the point..." I whisper. Eyes are droopy... Don't... want... to... sleep...

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An alarm is going off. It's hurting my ears. Ugh, my head is killing, and my side is murdering me. What happened last night? I turn off the alarm. My ears are ringing from that sound. I look around the room. 

Isn't this Joanna's guest bedroom? What am I doing here? I struggle to get up. My body hurts. Maybe it'll help if I take a cold shower and then find a first aid kit.

I head to the sink to rinse my mouth. The water is tainted red as I spit it out. Was my mouth bleeding? Why couldn't I taste it? Suddenly, a thought pops into my head.

I felt arms... think it was God. Where's that coming from? 

Even as I'm getting dressed, the thought is still there. Felt arms... was God. I don't want to think too much about it because my head hurts enough. I walk to the kitchen, looking for a maid. Thankfully, there's one placing down my breakfast. I'm met with avocado toast, eggs, and sausage. Joanna really does eat good. I drink some coffee. Wish I had some painkillers for my headache. Unfortunately, I don't have enough time to go to my house and get some. 

"Oh, good morning, Mr. Nicholi. Here's your breakfast," she smiles.

"Thanks. Is there a first aid kit? I feel like I was punched in the side," I groan. She takes me to a small room with a nurse. Joanna has a private nurse living with her. How much money does she have? The nurse wraps my ribcage with a bandage.

I head out the of the house with the same thought in my head. Felt arms... was God. Who said it? My body feels like a pile of dumbbells. My feet are sliding against the concrete. I just wanna collapse onto the floor.

At the mall, I don't see my car. Where is it? I close my eyes and think. Caleb picked me up from my house, and I didn't take my car. I must have gotten to her house by cab! 

I walk back to the sidewalk and call for a taxi. One stops in front of me, and I go inside.

"Where to?" he asks. I give him the address to my workplace. While he drives, I close my eyes and lie down. I need to relax. 

I felt... arms... wrapping around me... even though... I was alone... I think... it was... God. Joanna! She said that to me yesterday. She told me she had... she had... cried! She told me she had cried! And she felt like God was hugging her, Holy Spirit!

Now, I'm filled with an overwhelming joy even with a splitting headache. It's time for the angels to start celebrating because we found the lost sheep!

When I walk into work, the temperature feels normal. Or maybe I'm so cheerful that I can't even tell the temperature, probably not. I head over to my cubicle. My lunch bag and briefcase are there. Who brought them? There's a note on the lunch bag. I put both the bags and the floor and read it.

Dear Howard,

I told my chef to pack you lunch, and my driver got your lunch bag and briefcase. Try not to show up to my house drunk again.

Love, Joanna

I smile at the note. Love, Joanna. Not 'best regards', no fancy closing. Love. It's getting harder to associate Joanna with how she used to be. It's starting to seem more likely that I'll be able to go to Becky's wedding, or maybe I have my head in the clouds right now.

After work, I head home. Now that my head feels clearer, I realise I can't remember anything from last night. I only remember what Joanna said. Why did I end up at her house drunk? Was I drinking? What happened at the guy's night? I call Anna.

"Hey Howard, how are you?" Anna asks.

"Oddly happy for someone whose rib cage is broken," I answer.

"Oh my gosh! What happened?" Anna shrieks.

"I don't know, is Calvin home?" I ask.

"Yeah, do you want me to put him on the phone?" she says.

"Yes, please," I reply. The phone is silent, and then I hear someone taking it.

"Hey, Howard. I'm really sorry about what happened last night. How are you feeling?" He asks.

"I've been better. Can you fill me in on what happened last night?" I say. He tells me everything. How some girl had spiked my drink while he wasn't looking and that she came on me later that night. How her boyfriend punched me in the side because she said I forced myself on her. And that I left after that and he didn't know where I went. At least I know that part.

"Again, I'm really sorry," Calvin apologises.

"Hey, it wasn't your fault," I reassure him. He puts Anna back on the phone, and I tell her goodnight.