A Change of Heart

Chapter 42

I think I just got fired. I thought the that day this happened, I would be jumping up and down for joy, yet, I don't want to lose my job.

I feel selfish. If I get fired, I'll get to visit my family and I can find a good job. So, why don't I want to leave? Why do I hope I won't get fired?

It doesn't matter anyway. Either way, I'm going to be cleaning out my cubicle tomorrow morning. I go upstairs and get ready for bed. I need to sleep after that interaction.

Later on in the night, my phone vibrates. I turn it on, squinting from the brightness. Joanna sent me a message. Probably to give me a heads up that I'm fired.

Joanna: Howard, I want you to meet me at the park right now.

Me: Why?

Joanna: I'll tell you when you get here.

I get up and get dressed. She better not be making me go out just to tell me what I already know. I get in my car and drive to the park.

Joanna's sitting at one of the benches. She sits like Queen Elizabeth, her eyes focused on me. I walk over to the bench and sit next to her.

"I want to start off by saying that you're not fired," Joanna announced. I breathe a sigh of relief, earning a confused glance from Joanna. She moves her focus to nothing in particular.

"So... what does this mean about us?" I ask. I feel stupid for saying that. It's quite obvious we have to break up.

"My parents leave in 3 days. For those three days we stay strictly professional. However, once they leave, we can continue this relationship," Joanna explains. I'm surprised, I would have thought she'd respect her parents wishes.

"Howard, you have shown me what affection and having fun is. I'm not ready to give those feelings up. And I won't pretend that I don't like you. As long as my parents don't know, everything is fine," Joanna adds.

"I want to ask-" I say.

"This is as long as we can discuss. My parents are waiting for me at Sauvage. We can schedule a date once they leave," Joanna explains.

"Ok, goodnight Joanna," I say.

"Goodnight Howard," she replies. I drive home and go inside. That did not go at all as I thought it would. I'm glad Joanna is choosing herself for once. She deserves to find her love and happiness. I just wish she would have answered (and at least heard) my questions. What did she say about me to her parents?

As I drift off to sleep, I'm hit with a realisation that overwhelms me with guilt. Joanna almost stood up to her parents because she's in love with me and believes I'm in love with her. Meanwhile I'm conflicted by how I feel about her. Now I feel like I'm as bad as her parents, taking advantage of her.

My alarm finally beeps. I haven't slept, but have been thinking about my own actions. In love with her or not, I should treat her how she deserves to be treated. With the affection she praised me for giving to her. And I'll be more honest. As much as I want to come clean, people I care about are counting on me. I can't let them down now.

I drive to work and go to my cubicle. There's a package there. I was hoping that after that encounter with the Clieves last night, I could just go home and rest.

The rest of the day, I think about Joanna. I wonder if her parents are staying with her. Did they have a talk after they left? Are they really sure we've broken up?

And it leads back to my big questions. Why did Joanna tell them about us? Why would she say that I'm her employee? Did she even tell them that?

But, do I even have a right to question her? I've been using her for my own gain. I hated her with my whole heart, but acted as if I believe she's my future wife. Ugh, I think I'm getting a headache from all of these thoughts.

After work I take the package to Mr. Callaway's house. When I get there, someone's sitting on the front porch. It's a younger man with a dark complexion, lighted by the single bulb on the porch roof. What's with all the surprises this week? It hasn't even been 2 days! When I step out of the car, he stands up and walks over to me.

"Hi, are you a friend of Mr. Callaway?" I ask.

"Something like that, do you have his package?" he says. His eyes feel like they're staring into my soul, trying to make me break.

"Yes, just let me get it from my trunk," I answer. I go behind my car and get the package. I hand it over to him, and he smiles.

"Just letting you know, you'll be seeing a lot more of me from now on," he tells me.

"Ok then, goodnight," I say. He doesn't answer, but turns around and walks back to the house. I go into my car and drive home.