Shoot for the Stars

One Thing After Another

Taylor's day hadn't exactly gone to plan, all she'd wanted to do was drag herself out of her house and into the studio. She was putting the finishing touches on her new album with both Jack and Aaron. Creating the album had been one of the most cathartic things she'd ever done, by the end of April, she'd been so emotionally ruined, feeling like the only she had left was music. Her life looks so insanely different today than it did then, and she couldn't be more grateful that everything had shifted in the way it had. Because of all this, she'd been so excited to get into the studio and wrap everything up today, to finally say goodbye to that chapter of her life. And yet it had been one thing after another. She'd woken up with a raging headache and sore throat that had only worsened throughout the day, making her feel miserable. Her initial joy and excitement about her day turned into dread and fear. Every time she sang or said anything, she could feel her voice giving up on her. She wasn't happy with the way any of it turned out, meaning today hadn't been the end, they'd need to go in another day. She felt so bad, apologising profusely to Jack and Aaron for wasting their time and not being at the top of her game. She absolutely hates feeling unproductive, a rarity for her, which probably makes it so much worse when it does occur.

They'd unanimously agreed to end their session early, both Jack and Aaron urging her to go home and rest up. She'd brushed them both off, opting to go home and start baking cinnamon rolls, preparing for Travis' arrival. They hadn't seen each other in two weeks and the distance was taking its toll, she's so excited to see him again. But alas, in the middle of baking, another thing knocks her down. Tree had informed her of a new series of pictures that were circulating the internet, but this time they weren't real. They were pornographic AI images created by some freaks online, playing into the football part of her new life. Taylor was so over it at this point, she'd been so careful to make sure no explicit images of her ever ended up online, but it was all for nothing apparently. Now, they can just make their own explicit images. Instead of handling it in a way she probably would've on any other day, she launches the wooden spoon she'd been holding across the room, dough flying off it. Taylor can't bring herself to care, instead stomping up the stairs, leaving her half-mixed dough on the counter.

And that's where she's at now, feeling internally tortured. Pretty fitting for the album cycle she's about to begin. Tree had begged her not to go looking for the pictures she was talking about, but Taylor can't help herself. She logs into twitter, and it doesn't take long for them to pop up. The moment she sees them with her own eyes is the moment she feels herself snap. She's so fed up with being torn apart by the internet, and this just feels so incredibly invasive. With no one here to calm her down, Travis still being at least an hour away, she begins sobbing uncontrollably, making her way into the bathroom and turning on the shower, before sitting down on the shower floor fully clothed, letting the water wash over her, trying to wash away this horrible day. Maybe if she wasn't sick, and hadn't been so unproductive in the studio, this wouldn't have hurt her as bad, but maybe it was. She can't tell if her reaction to this is overdramatic, or if the way she's feeling is completely valid. Is she right in being grossly offended and violated? Or is this not a big deal? Because God does she feel violated. She wishes she knew the answer. She wishes she could understand the difference between a valid reaction and being dramatic.

She isn't quite sure how long she sits under the warm water, but she hears Travis come home and call out for her, so it must have been a while. She's trying so hard to pull herself out of her own head, wanting nothing more than to just enjoy her reunion with her boyfriend who she's been missing enormously. But no, Taylor's mind stays stuck. Stays on an endless loop of violating images that aren't even real. Eventually she hears a knock on the bathroom door, the water having tipped Travis off.

"Taylor?" He calls softly through the door. "Tree called me, are you alright?" His voice is so calm, so warm, it just makes her cry harder. She needs him a lot, she'd missed him so much.