Shoot for the Stars

An Interview

Something that blows her mind everyday is how supportive her boyfriend always is. Most guys wouldn't want to hear about your ex, or want anything to do with someone who was so publicly tied to her ex. And yet Travis doesn't seem to mind. She'd warned him when they first began seeing each other that there were parts of her old relationships that she still struggled with, that she was still moving on from. Now, almost 11 months later, she's completely over both Joe and Matty, she doesn't even think of them that often. But every now and then, one of them pops their head up to say something about her publicly. Usually it was Matty, he couldn't keep his mouth shut to save his life, and neither could his mother. Joe had always been quiet, refusing to speak about her even when they were happy and together. That's why it took so heavily by surprise when she was sent a news article by Tree that contained Joe discussing her and their relationship. Her first instinct was to scoff, turn her phone off, and ignore it. But as the day passed, her fingers were itching to know what he said. Tree clearly sent it to her for a reason, she clearly wanted her to know about it.

Travis is out for the day, off at his one of his variable activities he's been signed up for during offseason. So, she plonks herself down on the couch, Benjamin at her feet, as she finally opens the full article. She reads the entire thing, most of it is about his upcoming project, but of course they ask him about her. No one can help themselves. Of course people are curious, and she'd never come out explicitly and said anything, so Joe would have to be their only source. But the part that really bothers Taylor, is that he'd managed to say more words about her in this one article than he'd dared to utter about her while they were together. He never had anything nice to say about her or her work, and it bugged her at the time, but she'd never said anything, because they decided to keep things private. It had been a mutual decision at the time, but eventually private felt like it morphed into secret, and she felt like he was ashamed of her, like he resented her because of who he was. She also hates that it feels as though he's calling her a liar. 'A gap between what's known and what's said.' he'd said, feeling to her like a dig at her latest music where she'd briefly touched on their falling apart. He's still blaming her for all the unwanted attention he receives, and it hurts. It takes her right back to that time, where she felt like she was the only one fighting for them, where she gave up every part of herself and gave him everything he wanted. She looks down sadly at Benjamin, the cat they'd ultimately adopted together. For a long time, she wishes things with Joe would have worked, it had been what was expected from her from everyone, it had been what she wanted because she'd loved him so much. But love hadn't been enough for them, they weren't compatible enough in other ways and by the end they weren't seeing eye to eye on anything. Her final straw was when he refused to come to the opening night of her tour, and while that may seem trivial to some, it was the continuation of a never-ending pattern of him never showing up for her. All she wanted was for him to show up for her at something that she'd worked so hard to put together.

The article didn't take her long to read, but when she finally lifted her head out of her phone, she felt as though years had passed, a heaviness settling on her chest. She shuts her phone off, laying back on the couch while stroking Benjamin completely lost in her own thoughts. She's so glad she's not still there, that she'd had enough self-respect to end the relationship and move forward in a way she didn't deem herself capable. And while yes, there was the Matty roadblock for a while, she's now in the happiest, healthiest relationship she's ever been in. Travis means the world to her, if she hadn't gone through everything, she wouldn't be here, with him, and happy. Instead of wallowing in this and Travis coming home to find her in this blue mood, she chooses to get up and ignore it completely, opting to start baking.

Before she knows it, she's made cinnamon rolls, pop tarts, bread, cookies, muffins, and cupcakes. Hours have passed since she'd started the whole process and Travis had yet to return. It's almost 7pm now. Taylor wipes her forehead with her arm, feeling like she's been working out. She wonders for a moment where Travis is, but before she can wonder for too long, she hears the door open. She breathes a sigh of relief, glad he's home so she can stop.