Athena

Chapter 5

Man, it was strange to see Gina's bedroom ceiling every morning when I woke up. The same view, day after day. Sitting by the same table each morning, drinking coffee from the same cup. Watching the same street lights outside the window in the evening. Every day, the same.

How long had it been since I had a permanent address? A very long time, that's for sure. On the third day, Gina asked how it came that I didn't have a place of my own. I didn't know what to say. I could tell her about the silence in my first flat that reminded me of all the evenings I spent alone when my father was out drinking. About the long hours that I spent staring at the ceiling in the early mornings, too afraid of what I would meet if I feel asleep. About the wet cheeks that woke me up, if I did.

I don't remember how much I told her that time. All I know is that it became impossible to stay by myself. And so I began to surround myself with noise, because then none of my thoughts could intrude. Staying with friends, moving from sofa to sofa. It all became a natural step.

Many people had tried to convince me otherwise over the years. Offering me to stay with them, to live with them and share their bed. But they always wanted something I couldn't give them. Asking me for things that were beyond my reach. And so I gave them what I could for the night and left. Easier, that way.

And then I met Gina. And she was... different. I had never planned to stay for longer than the night, but somehow, without meaning to, she pulled me in. That evening became two, became three, and I still stayed. Was it because she didn't ask anything of me? Never pushed me to become something I wasn't?

I won't tell her this, but somehow she made me feel at home. Just as I was. With her, my thoughts slowly stilled, and the silence stopped being a threat. The nights became a time when I rested, not visiting my loneliness.

And so the years went by, and our lives became comfortable. I still couldn't bring myself to get a job, but I did clean, and I even learned to cook. And now, five years after that first night on the sofa, I'm still around. And more would come...