LOVE AGAIN | 18+

☆ || S i z z l i n g || ☆

T R I S T A N

Aarna. This name.
There's something different, something compassionate about her.

I thought I was going to say no before she arrived. But I can't. I had no reason.

Despite feeling tragic and the rage inside me, her soft lip curl and the want for water on her face, desperate me to look at her, and read her.

As if she's some kind of art I'm restricting from exploring.

I have no sympathy for the kind of art she is. It's wrenching to even think about that.

But then, my mother's helpless face crosses my mind.

There's nothing wrong when Ma says I should try to move on. There's nothing wrong when she wants her son to be settled and not mourn over his past.

But whenever I try to move from that, her face flickers back to me. The memories. It's easy to say but it's fucking the toughest task in my life.
To forget her. I thought if I move away, from her, the places we had spent together, the love we had but it's fucking damn killing me each passing day.

Even when she said, she was just attracted to me, married to someone else now yet it made me feel wanting for her.

It makes me feel guilty to even move on.
Maybe for the sake of fucking useless promises we made.
Maybe I fear, if I move on, I'll betray my own love.

The love I've done to someone so truly and passionately.

What I think about her, is never going to matter to her. She's happy out there, travelling with her husband to the places we dreamed together of.

Aarna. Likes me. Those brown orbs show it.

But I'm afraid.

Afraid to commit that I wouldn't be able to give her the same love she does. It makes me fearful thinking about loving someone like I did once.

It breaks me, wrenches my soul, ripping my heart into pieces. We were so happy, why she had to do that all of a sudden?

If anything I wouldn't agree to this alliance. But now that Ma is worried about me, I don't want to hurt her anymore. All of my family loves Aarna, they think she's the perfect one for me.

I can't say the same, I'm yet to explore her.
And when I say that doesn't mean I'm not interested, it means if she takes a step I'll atleast try to be beside her. I'm not sure if I'll be able to give her the man she wants. I wanted to clear all those things with her and I did. She might be a nice lady.

I have lost the love, the love I had found and lived with for three damn months still I'm unable to recover from it but when I hear about her. Her brother and father, it's even worse. I am not equalising the loss or pain but it depends on how much the person matters. No one can sympathise with the loss of the parents. It's even more disastrous. If I feel this tragic losing her. Then how would she have felt losing her parents and brother?

I still remember how terribly Sanjana misses her father even now. I wonder if she'll be able to give someone a chance to let love her. My best friend is so reserved for her own self.

If anything, I don't have more time to stay here.
I want to end this as soon as possible and get back to normal life. I want to make no effort, towards this.

I'm yet clueless as to why I'm doing this. Agreeing to marry the lady I don't know much about. But I would not deny the fact something is captivating about her, her eyes, the way she speaks, it's as if that makes me forget everything and return to my own self. A minor infatuation if I name it.