Poetry I've Written

I'll still hold you when I'm dying (TW!) - August 2024

Graphic imagery, death

I'll still hold you when I'm dying, even though I'm still crying, when the shadows eat away at you, you'll know that I'm still trying.

I'll try to jab them when I can, with the knife that I still hold, did anyone ever know I could really be this bold?

Even when your eyes glaze over, and your head is hanging limp, I'll really hope you'll never think that I was just some wimp.

Because the love for you, that comes from me, is even stronger than your death. I'll make sure that I hold you even in my last breath.

Even when your body is lifeless, I'll gently stroke your hair, shaking. I hope they make it fair, taking my life, my soul, my mind, breaking.

☆

If you read this far, here's a bonus for you! I'll write about why I wrote this poem, but if you're not interested in seeing it, just keep scrolling.

So basically, I had some random nightmare on June 12th, 2024, and it was this like, really sad story. Me and this girl were stuck in this horrific building, which became infested with monsters and shit. We were trying our best to survive, and we had been, for the most part. Me and her had run into some room of the building with a few others, and we hid there.

We heard the monsters storm up into the hallway, near the room we were in.

Someone shouted, "Evacuate!" And most people did. A few people, like me and her, decided it wasn't worth it, because we may not be fast enough. We crouched down and hid there, and turned off the lights. I held her close to my body, tightly, there in the pitch black darkness.

The lock wasn't enough. The monsters busted through the door, and they quickly came after us.

I was shaking, and I knew we couldn't do anything. Our bodies were so weak to do anything anymore, and I think we were also a bit injured at the time.

I was deep in the corner, so she was the quickest for them to access. They started at her neck, taking their time eating the flesh, the bone, and the muscle. She cried out in pain, but I couldn't do anything except hold her. I had a steak knife from the kitchen that I stole earlier, so I tried stabbing them with it, with all the little energy I had left.

They eventually took the knife from me. Not surprising. I found a phone on the floor beside me, so I turned it on with full brightness, and held it up around her face, so I could see how she was.

She was still smiling at me, but blood dripped out. Her eyes were thickly glazed over, I could barely even tell that they were her eyes anymore. I could sort of see the monsters continuing to stuff down on the soft flesh of her neck. They also started to eat away at her left arm, and the left side of her body. I put the phone down because I couldn't bare to see her like this anymore. Her screaming stopped, and all I could hear were my whimpers and deep, shaky breathing and their chewing.

Once I held the phone light up to her face again, I could see how her head was was hanging all the way back, her scalp touching her back, and her neck just narrowly holding her head before it snapping off. The monsters had gotten to my legs now, eating it too. I felt pain, but the real pain was seeing the girl I cared so much about die painfully right in front of me, and I did nothing to stop it. I was helpless.

Since they got her before they got me, I could've ran. But I stayed. I wanted to endure the same amount of pain she did. It broke my heart as the image of her bleeding smile wouldn't leave my mind.

And of course, this was all just a nightmare. It felt horribly realistic though, because I could see all the details so clearly, to her glazed eyes down to the tiniest pores on her soft face.