My Life My Love My Time -Book 3 MLMLMT Trilogy-

Tears on my Pillow

The music stopped but we kept dancing. I heard my phone die about an hour ago. I am just flowing with the Doctor. I wish I could just stay here like this with him forever. I look up at him so that I could look him in the eyes. He looks tired but blissful. I don't want to disturb this ever. He is walking perfection, he brings light to my life. Matt felt safe and secure, not what I wanted, the perfect rebound. Jack was danger with a Capitol D, he was edgy and off limits, the perfect bad boy. Neither of them are anything compared to the Doctor.

My Doctor, the man standing in front of me. The man who I have been dancing with for over an hour and a half. The man who has taken me across the universe. The man who has defended my life. The man who I would give my life for. The man of many faces, the man who has had many loves and will have many more. The man who will be in my thoughts for eternity. The man who will only remember me for a speck of time. The man who always seems to save the day. The man who is more than a man, the man who is The Doctor.

"Angel what's on your mind?" He says causing me to blink.

"You." I say being completely honest. He smiles at my response.

"What could possibly be running through there about me?" He says and I look at him with a small smile crossing my face.

"Your perfection." I say and he tenses up just slightly. I know that tension. "Hey what's wrong?" I ask him and he shakes me off.

"You need to distance yourself from me." He says and it feels like someone just stabbed me in the chest.

"Because of the fact that eventually we are going to end up apart? Isn't that the quitters way?" I say and he just sighs and turns away from me. "I can walk out those doors and die floating into space. You will have to tell Mum. Or we can just go back to how it was before and then you just leave me somewhere like every other person who you have had here before me." I say and I can see rage start to boil in him.

"You think I want to do that? To act like we never happened? You think I am capable of that? If you don't distance yourself I won't be able to control myself. Why don't you go work at Torchwood or something? Then you can have something to keep your mind off of me!" He explodes and I almost shrink back in fear because of the wrath of a Timelord.

"Is that what you want?" I ask and he nods. I can feel tears forming in my eyes. "Fine. I will go pack then." I say and my breathing becomes rigid. I feel a lump in my throat and I can't swallow it down. I quickly walk to my room and lock the door. I end up falling to the floor crying. I never thought this would happen, not for a million years. It hurts, more than when Jack left and more than when Matt died. It is so much more pain. The look of rage on his face, the look of pain. It hurt more than the words he was saying.

I can't just keep crying like this. It sinks in that since I have joined the T.A.R.D.I.S team I have cried more than I had in the 19 years before. I go into my closet and grab a duffel bag. I grab all my clothes and fold them all and place them in. How does it all fit you ask? How else, timelord technology. I walk out into the control room and sit on one of the benches. The Doctor looks over and sees my duffel. He flinches and walks over to the controls.

"Where to?" He asks and my first thought is Matt's family's house.

"68942 Main street. Park across the street. Year 2015. It's in London." I say and he recognizes the address. He knows that it is Matt's old home. He punches it in and we lurch. This is the last time I will feel this lurch.

"Goodbye Ocrose." He says and I walk to the door. I turn and face him.

"I won't forget this, not a single second of it. And know I am saying the whole and entire truth when I say this, I will always remember when the Doctor was mine." I say and turn. I walk out the doors.