confused ✯ ruby rose

iv.

As soon as the door shut I looked at Ruby with panic. What the hell had just happened? Was Ruby really about to kiss me? For some reason, I doubted it. It would be too good to be true and things like that never really happened to me. Why would that be the exception? Besides, Ruby was the one who could have anyone she wanted, not me. The one I wanted. . . that wasn't possible, or so I believed to be true.

"So, um, that just happened," Ruby said, finally breaking the almost unbearable silence. I just stared out into space, chewing on the inside of my cheek, unsure of how to respond. I almost kissed my best friend. I almost kissed Ruby and she was going to kiss me back. No, she was the one who started to lean in, but I wasn't blaming her. It was my fault.

That's when I realized that Ruby had to have felt something other than friendship towards me and I didn't know what to do. I broke my staring contest with the wall and looked at her with worry and surprise in my eyes. She looked just as stunned as I was.

"Yeah, it did. Well, technically it didn't," I tried to lighten up the mood a little, but it was failing; it was a seriously poor attempt. It probably only made us both feel worse.

"Yeah, it didn't." Ruby sighed. Did she really want it to happen?

"I'm, um sor--" 

Ruby cut me off, "No, don't be. It was my fault. I'm the one who went for it." She did like me?

"No, don't say that! I'm just as guilty as you are, okay? That wasn't all you there. . . Fuck! What do we do? We can't just ignore this, Ruby. I feel something for you that I've never felt about anyone before, and it scares me! Something is going on and I don't know how to control it and I don't understand any of this. I just don--" My rambling was cut off by Ruby smashing her plump lips into mine.

At first, it took me a bit by surprise, but after not too long, I started to kiss her back. Her soft hands were cupping my face and I was holding myself upright with my own. The kiss was lustful, yet passionate. She tasted like vanilla and peach in a strange way; I craved that addicting taste. Ruby then climbed on my lap and straddled me once again, but this time it was so much more satisfying and romantic. I fell onto my back, letting Ruby have full control of the situation we were in.

All of this was absolutely insane, but I wasn't about to stop it.

Finally, her hands were all over me, and this time it felt great and I wanted her touch now more than ever. Her right hand slid up my shirt, but not too far. I felt like I could fly in those moments. Ruby was affectionately grabbing my sides, making me giggle because it tickled a bit. My arm snaked around her neck, bringing her as close as humanly possible to me. I gently tugged on her lip with my teeth and kissed her again. I was smiling through the kiss and that made her smile. The small smiles turned into giggles which soon turned into laughter.

Ruby's face was on my chest again, in between my leg she laid, looking up at me with this look that I couldn't read properly, "What is it?" I inquired.

"I just. . . can't believe this is a thing. I never would've guessed you were, um, not straight." Ruby confessed, lightly chuckling. I stroked her dark hair while she was laying on me and just kind of stared at her, not really knowing how to respond.

What was I? Was I actually gay?

"It's a bit of a surprise for me too, but I dunno what I am, Rubes." I suddenly became upset with myself and a tear trickled its way down my cheek.

"Charlie, don't cry, okay? We'll figure this out. Together. Do you trust me?" 

I laughed lightly, "Of course I trust you. What kind of question is that?"

"Then we'll get through this. I need you to know that whatever comes out of this, I will always be your friend and I will always be here for you. I really do care for you a lot, love. I don't care if you say you never want to talk to me again, if you need me, I will be there. D'you understand?"

I nodded slightly, more tears falling down my face. Ruby grabbed my arms and made me sit up with her still in my lap, legs wrapped around my waist, and hugged me tightly.

"Now, would you like to go to bed because I'm exhausted. We've had a long day," Ruby spoke, moving my hair out of my face. I nodded, she got off of my lap and turned off the light, and climbed into bed with me. 

I didn't sleep that night. I was the little spoon to Ruby's big spoon and I just enjoyed her warmth too much to sleep. Besides, I wanted to replay our kiss over and over again. That was so much better than I imagined my first kiss to be like.

My first kiss was a girl, and that girl was my best friend.

-

Have you guys seen that scene that gif is from? Holy fuck cx I kind of died. It's Ruby in Around the Block and damn. Just. . . I needed that. 

So I did a thing up there. . . Praise me? xD I thought that you guys needed it after the last chapter. I was a tease and that wasn't very nice of me cx

T'was a bit shorter than usual, but I've been kind of busy at home and with work and also watching Netflix(lmao). I hope you forgive me!

Anyway, vote, comment something nice or criticize me, follow if you want, and don't forget to stay beautiful ❤

-rubyrose-