Uno:
That's what I thought. There's just one problem we gotta fix with you. Actually, two.
Dryce:
Okay.
Uno:
First – you gotta stop being vegan. Everyone knows that meat contains protein, vital amino acids, and vitamin B12, which can't be found in ANY other food group.
Dryce:
Actually, beans contain protein, and the amino acids are self-generated by the body once the body's chemical reliance on external amino acids has worn off after a gradual change in diet. It's only Vitamin B12 that's hard to get, but with vitamin supplements-
Uno:
SHUT THE FUCK UP AAAAHHHHHHHHH
Uno, who just now seemed chill in the face of stress, was unable to handle a calm, cool rebuttal. He goes ballistic and smashes a wooden baseball bat on the floor. The broken shards explode with a hot KRAK!! He stands there panting for a moment before finding again his will to go on, and points the jagged splinters that remain of the bat at my neck.
Uno:
Just stop. Fucking. Talking.
I nodded.
Deux:
Secondly, you've gotta start smoking, or doping, or dipping. We don't care. As long as you get your daily dose before the game, everyone's happy.
Deux holds up a bag of green buds, dried leaves in crystallic clumps. He is obviously quite proud of it, and has momentarily forgotten about his earlier sadness.
Dryce:
That looks like weed, dude.
Deux:
W-what? No it's not.
Dryce:
Yeah it is, I can smell it from here.
Uno:
Crack that sucker open, buddy, let's smell.
Deux crackles open the plastic bag's pressure seal, and a familiar dank aroma spills out.
Trois:
Dude, that's weed. You've been smoking weed before games?!
Uno:
No wonder you always suck so bad!
Deux:
Okay, whatever! So it's fucking weed! I don't like nicotine, okay?! It makes me nervous and I always get a headache!
Uno:
Weak, dude.
Trois:
Mega weak.
I could feel the words bursting at the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell them how I knew – that my sister had been smoking weed for the last three years, and that I'd tried it. That I'd been taking a hit of her joints every friday for the whole summer. I wanted them to know how cool I thought it all was, that I was a twelve year old who smoked weed sometimes. But instead, I decided to keep my mouth shut. Suddenly I was getting anxious, like I was too full of joy and self-satisfaction and I couldn't contain it.
Uno:
Yo, he's getting agitated.
Deux:
You're sweating, man.
Trois:
Yikes.
Dryce:
I'm uh, good. I just need to piss...
I stood up, knowing that "piss" was the better choice than "pee". I didn't want to sound any more childish or effeminate than I already did. The ropes fell off my hands like yarn and the guys gasped.
Uno:
YO, HEY! HE'S GETTING AWAY!!
Dryce:
I just need to use your bathroom...?
Deux:
How the fuck did you get out? I tied that rope with a Triple Buttclench, the toughest knot ever created.
YOU ARE READING
SR ε: Dry Veins (2021)
ParanormalDryce Romano comes from a poor neighborhood in Fort Mancraig, where everyone's just as messed up from the fumes as they are from their own parents. The only thing that seems to keep his head on straight is good-old baseball, with a boyish girl who's...
