My Angel

My Angel: Chapter 4

The drive barely took any time - same as before. It was even faster with how I was blatantly breaking every traffic law. I wouldn't be surprised if I got a ticket in the mail sometime soon, a stray camera probably catching me. I don't really care though... because I was right around the corner from my street.

I take a couple of deep breaths, going over every single lie I could think of for the inevitable storm of questions he was gonna ask. Charlie wasn't much of a talker, especially when it came to emotions, but I've got the feeling that he's going to be a little irritated with me. Maybe even a bit angry, I think with a bitter laugh. I'm going to be grounded until I move out.

I shook it off though, because the interrogation was still pretty low on my list of worries. Yeah, I was stressed about lying, about making sure he believed the facade I crafted... but I was more worried about killing him.

The bit at the store was amazing. I didn't crack - not even close, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't now. It doesn't mean I couldn't hurt him in a thousand different ways. I could wave my arm, and he would go flying through a wall. Which of course meant that he would start bleeding, which would...

I sigh - just letting the worry of my newest scenario ease away. I couldn't focus on that right now, I had to keep my priorities straight.

This isn't a good idea Beau... you're going to hurt him, my angel gently told me, stress clearly in her voice. I could feel her hand on my shoulder, and if I tried - in the corner of my eye... I can see her sitting there.

"I'm not abandoning him," I whisper back, not looking at her, worried that if I did, she'd disappear. Right now... I don't think I could handle this if she did.

I know, that's not what I meant... you should wait... be sure that you really do have control before you go and see him.

I took a shaky breath in, and I knew that if I was still human, my heart would be going a thousand beats a minute.

"I can't just let him think I disappeared... he needs to know I'm ok." I whispered, gripping my wheel tight.

I won't touch him. He might wanna shake me around, hug me, slap my shoulder, or whatever, but I will not return anything. I'm just gonna stand there, let him get whatever he needs out. Because if I try to hug him back, or even just to pat him on the back...

"Stop freaking yourself out," I whisper to myself, shaking my head. So I'm staying still. Next, I'm not gonna breathe, or I'll try not to - like I said, the amazing job I did at the store was golden, but it's a fact that that moment could have been a fluke. So I'm not chancing it. I drive down the street, purposely going slow as I try to organize my thoughts.

Standing still. No breathing. Lastly, I'm gonna try and make this as quick as possible... which might be the hardest of the three. He'll want to know every single little detail, and it might take a little while before he's satisfied. Then the yelling will probably start. Which I am totally ok with, I deserve it.

I ease to a crawl at the last stop sign, before turning, pulling onto my street. I finally see my house, and a relief unlike any other hits me as I get closer to it. I don't think I've ever appreciated it more than I have right now - I didn't even realize how much I would have missed it. I grinned seeing that his cruiser was parked in the driveway.

Carefully, I ease into the space next to it. I put my truck in park, and I took one last little moment to myself. The contacts looked fine, my clothes were mostly okay, besides the jeans - I can do this.

This was when this would be hardest. Once I go in there, the option of running away disappears, because he is going to keep me under a microscope for the next few months... and I don't wanna hurt him any worse by disappearing again, just a few days after coming back.