My Angel

My Angel: Chapter 2

I don't know how long I'd been here, whimpering, and screaming in my truck. My body was writhing the entire time, clawing at the seats, at the wheel, gripping it so tight that I thought I was going to break my own hand.

I think I was begging? It's hard to make out, but I think I'm talking, wishing for someone to put me out of my misery?

I couldn't really hear myself though, or feel anything other than the pain. The overpowering sound of my beating heart drowned out the screaming - the begging, and my eyes were shut tight the entire time, only opening for a rare few moments, and only occasionally when they just fly open without me even trying.

It felt like I was in one of those sensory deprivation chambers, where there was nothing but the burning. Each agonizing second feeling like years as the fire burned me from the inside out.

I know that the sun has come and gone a few times already, it was the only possible way I could even guess at the amount of time I'd been in here.. Though I couldn't keep count, not really, obviously.

Vaguely I could remember in the back of my head, "three days." An impression of something, someone once said. It hurt too bad to really try and figure out what the person had been talking about.

I was really starting to worry that this would never end. That I was in hell, being punished for my many misdeeds. For putting Charlie through everything; for leading Jules on. It all just hurt.

The only comfort I've gotten is the sound of her voice.

I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Beau. It was just a memory, from the first time I'd been bitten. She was crying, sobbing in my head, begging for this to stop, for my pain to end.

It was a mercy to hear her, my angel, with me. It almost made this worth it. She's been talking to me non-stop, it felt like she was actually with me, because it was the only thing I could actually comprehend. I could almost imagine the feel of her hands wrapped around me; my head in her lap as she had so many times before.

Those little moments didn't last long. Though they kept me sane through this, they only were with me for seconds at a time. Only in the moments when I could stop screaming long enough to beg some more.

Not to say that I could really hear myself; I did hear myself screaming, but it sounded like listening to someone through a wall, making it all muffled and annoying to listen to. The begging was just the same, all muffled - so I could only really guess at what the muffled words I was saying were. Begging sounded right. I wouldn't mind death. The peace that it would come with.

Maybe my angel would be there to greet me, or some sort of... ghost of her? I'm not sure. I just know it wouldn't be a paradise without her in some form.

We'd talk, and dance, and sleep, and just... live. Happily. It was another good thought.

But I don't think I'll be dying anytime soon, no matter how close it seems right now. The venom was coursing through my veins, and I could feel the changes; though just barely of course.

One change was eating at me though; one that scared me more than anything else. The fear that I'd become a monster.

My angel always told me how difficult it was for herself, the thirst, the want to kill. The stories she had of her family. I could remember all of them... vaguely, the ones that my angel let me know anyway.

I guess I had a feeling of what it was like for Carine. I remember her story a bit, waiting out her transformation, of resisting. Of making her choice. I'm not sure I could do the same thing.

The thought made me ache - I didn't wanna leave Charlie if I didn't have too. Letting him think I died, and that it was his fault. Because he would - I knew. He'd blame himself for not sending me back to Jacksonville. He's probably looking for me right now, if my guess on the sun was right, it's been days.