I've decided to go non-verbal, or well, mute. I'll have to use gestures to communicate now. That I love. I'm taking it very seriously. Like, very. I had to break my vow of silence yesterday, but I'm not counting that as a failure. Someone accused me of talking yesterday, but again, not counting it because one, he's a jerk, two, I needed my markers. I keep having to talk every now and then, but that's fine. I'm going to put this here so I don't forget. My cat, Zoe, died. She was the best cat ever. But now I'll never feel her warmth again. She's gone. Forever. According to the vet, she didn't suffer. Her neck probably broke when the dryer was turned on, so she died instantly. I'm talking again.
I want to end this. Not the way you might think though! No death involved whatsoever. I want to finish this book, is what I meant. This morning I said goodbye to Zoe before school. Well, since she's dead I said goodbye to the box her ashes are in. I'm a very sad person when it comes to thinking about my beloved pets' death. Is it just me, or does everyone think their friends are secretly hating on them? Probably just me. It's fine though. I'm fine. Not like anythings wrong with me, no-sir-ree! I'm totally normal. Definitely not a weirdo loser or anything. I'm definitely a cool kid, yes, a cool kid! Except. . . I'm not. I'm not normal. I'm not cool, I'm a weirdo, loser wannabe.
Not like any of that matters, though. It doesn't matter. Right? Sure, sure. My life isn't that interesting, but I still have stuff I'm going to write about. It doesn't matter that I'm a wannabe-cool-kid. I am pretty, smart, and a good artist. It doesn't matter that I'm lame, a loser, or a weak person. I can become stronger. I mean that mentally. I'm currently weak mentally, but I know I could get stronger. It doesn't matter anymore. No, not at all. I am strong. I could be stronger. I'm weak. I'm so weak. I couldn't take an insult for the life of me. But that could change. I could become stronger. I can, and I will. I will be stronger than I am. That means no more panic attacks, no more leaving school early, none of that.
Hell, I could write a book on how I truly feel about all the people I've mentioned here! I might! I can, and might. For together we stand, together we fall. Reader, I hope you understand. I'll see you in the afterlife. But not yet, for it is not our time just yet. No, not at all. It isn't ever anyone's time. Yet not everyone deserves to live. . . now, I'm not pointing to names (ahem) pedos (ahem). Oh, you say it's obvious who shouldn't live; and you're right! It should be obvious. But for some, it might not be obvious, so, let me list it out. Pedos, murderers, groomers, etc. So, yeah.
I keep looking for apps that have none of these people, but that's difficult. I have found one called "Cats and Soup". It's a really cute therapy game where cats make soup. I really like it, and hope I can get it. Anyway, I'm currently in computer science. People say they like Oliver, the dragon-bear plush I have. I'm glad I haven't been made fun of having a plush with me half the time. I also have this cat plush named Echo, and people in computer science said they liked it. I'm happy. It makes me happy that I make others happy. Hey, reader, I have a challenge for you! Make someone smile, make them laugh, anything that indicates happiness.
Today, March 14, 2024, I will live! I will make it through the day. I will! No matter what hits me, I will make it out alive. Or not. Either way, I'll be alive to see another day. It doesn't matter, as I will stay alive, just so I can write this book. I can't WAIT for my death to be memed, however. I crave, and I mean CRAVE burger king chicken fries. They are SO GOOD!!! I just want to eat them all day, and I could if I had money, but I don't. But that's OKAY! I will grow up, and get a self fulfilling job, and get LOADS and LOADS of money! I am so excited to grow up! I think of myself as a very interesting, sweet person unless someone asks me this question, "WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?" when I'm wearing my NOISE CANCELING headphones. They are made to CANCEL OUT NOISE.
I am getting more worked up as I write this book, but that's AY-O-KAY! I'm going to keep writing this book regardless. I'm getting restless. I'm not sure what to do now, but I'll push through. Anyways. . . I'm gonna get some food during lunch. It isn't lunch time yet, though. When it is, I'm going to eat. I'm hungry thinking about food. I like food. Food is yummy. I want to eat right now. But I'm in a class I'm not allowed to eat in. Maybe next period. Just maybe. . . but maybe not, and that is fine with me. I didn't eat, but I'll eat at lunch. I'm very hungry. So hungry. I'm not sure why. I want to eat chicken fries. My dad said he will see about getting me chicken fries! So, yippee! YAY. I'm so hungry. Like, I'm not sure why. Anyways.
I see too many pretty people at school, and I'm not sure why. I wish I was pretty like them. But I was made to be UGLY—. Maybe? I'm not entirely sure. Ha, that's a little silly. I am so silly. I can't wait for lunch today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that. I think you get my point. I really NEED to start eating breakfast everyday. But I'm not gonna, because that's too silly, even for me. But that's okay. Oliver, the dragon-bear mentioned earlier in the story, is here with me at school.
