I'm so sleepy. It's not early in the morning, though. I want to sleep. Guess I can't though. I mean, I'm at school! It's the next day. I am awake and aware. I want to eat. I'm hungry. Veeerrrryyyyy hungry. I want food. Like, a lot of food. I'll eat in an hour, though, so we're good. I want to go home. I'm too tired for this. Like, seriously. Why do they make us suffer long hours at school? It's dumb. But if it's required, then it's fine, right? NO! It's not "fine"! It's less than fine! It isn't fine whatsoever! It's tiring, exhausting, and annoying. Like, what the actual flip! My back hurts, I want to lay down, and I'm BORED out of my MIND!!! It isn't fair. But it's required, which sucks! Like, hell! At least it'll be over next week. . . NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!! I mean school will be over for a month! I don't want to die!
Whenever I say "I want it to end," or, "it'll be over," I DON'T MEAN DEATH!!! I mean, sure it sounds bad, but it isn't in that context, I promise! Like, what the flip man! I just am sleepy. . . and hungry. Does it matter the consequences? YES! If I die, people WILL miss me! That is why I can't die! Not yet, at least. My chest hurts. I'm not sure why. I'm going to the doctor after school. It's like my heart is about to burst, and I'll die. But I know I won't. I'm in art class right now. Two boys are being very annoying. They're playing with a beach ball in the middle of the table I'm sitting at. I think it's very distracting. My head hurts, but I don't know whether to ask to go to the nurse or not. I'm so, so congested! I can't breathe through my nose currently. I'm still congested, but my chest doesn't hurt anymore. I have finals today and tomorrow. It's all half days. I'm gonna have a clap out for when junior high is done. I think high school is going to be fun. Maybe not though. I should ask my older sister.
I just want junior high to be over with. People are so mean here, and they make me sad. But think no longer. My brain is a blank space. I'm dumb enough to not know what they mean when they say rude stuff. So, yeah. Mr Wilfred allowed me to take my final in the hall. I'm tired. Very. But that's a-oh-kay. I don't mind! I just want to sleep. But it's daytime. So I won't sleep. I'm so sleepy. I'm having really bad anxiety. I don't know why. I'm so tired. Love sucks. I'm laughing as I write this. I'm so silly. So yeah. I'm still pretty tired. I have screen time on my computer. That sucks. So every time I want to go on it I have to ask for more. I'm listening to little nightmares songs. Soooo. . . yeah. "The darkness is honest, are you to yourself?" is my new motto. I like it as a motto, so yeah. I like cheese. Cheese is yummy. Soo yeah. I want to... no. I can't say that. Not at all. I'm sorry. I'm a monster. According to my little sister, a jerk. I'm so silly.
I apologized because I know I was in the wrong. My little sister is such a brat. There are no fun games on VR, to be honest. I want to sleep, but I'm not going to. I'm sleepy, so sleepy. I want to sleep, and wake up in ten years to finally not be tired. I'm so happy! I had to go to my bratty little sister's party today. She's so annoying. I'm not sure why. I joined some venting discord servers. It really helped. I got to vent. I'm so silly! I made two discord servers and invited all my friends. So yeah. That's fun! Can't wait for highschool to be over with. I'm tired. I love songs from little nightmares. I have no ideas for this book currently. But I'll try to keep going. RAHH! Did I scare ya? Bet I did! Joking, I swear. I love this one band, it's called Lovejoy. My favorite song by that band Is a song called "it's Golden hour somewhere". It reminds me of myself!
I have been cutting recently, and my parents found out. They took away my scissors. That made me very upset. But I guess I understand. I'm listening to lovejoy as I write. I wrote a suicide note if I ever do commit, but I don't think I will... Yet. At least not until I'm 20. I don't really have anything to talk about right now, to be honest. But I can sure as hell try! So, basically I take my meds, and I think of overdosing for no reason. Oh! I also play guitar. Guitar is fun. I love playing so many instruments, but I only have three as of now. I want a violin but my parents said I have to master my other instruments first. I'm trying my darnedest to NOT kill myself, but the situation I'm in is making that difficult, to be honest. What I've been working for was all in vein, I assume. But I'm going to try and keep going! I'm on a call as I write.
