17 DAYS TO GO | KWON SOONYOUNG

38

Kang Hana

About an hour passed while I was immobile in my place—okay, so maybe it was only minutes or even seconds, but it felt like an hour.I debated whether to ring the bell or sprint across the street and rush back to my house.

I was drenched in sweat, nervousness setting in. I was unable to practice my lines or even make any mental notes about what I would say to Soonyoung. I experienced every possible range of emotions, the majority of which were negative: anxiety, excitement, fear, worry, and nervousness

I stretched out my hand, mustering the bravery and self-assurance to ring the bell, but all of that was wasted when I heard him call out to me. "Kang Hana?" Slightly gulping, I turned my body in the direction of the noise.

There stood Kwon Soonyoung in all his glory, dressed casually and staring up at me with inquisitive eyes. "You're here? At this hour?" His last words caused me to furrow my brows.

"At this hour?" "It is almost midnight, Hana-yah," he said, stepping lightly in my direction. My eyes widened to the size of saucers. Death had to experience his own death once, and I'll be the one to kill him.

"Everything is okay, right?" The man in front of me softened his voice to one that was more gentle and kind. I could not help but feel queasy in my stomach now that I was consciously aware of how I felt about myself and had hard proof that I was in love.

"I wanted t-to talk to y-you" I scratched the back of my neck, unsure of what else to say. I was never good at communicating my emotions, and this circumstance was not doing me any favors.

"About what?" He had opened the door to his home, and as soon as we entered, a brisk wind began to blow. The shelter always felt cold and vacant, never a source of heat emitting from the household. Perhaps because most of the time it was empty.

"Would you mind waiting upstairs in my room? I want to tidy up and possibly grab some snacks for the two of us" I seized the opportunity because it was ideal for getting ready to confess to him.

When I turned on the light, I could smell the scent drifting through his room. It smelled just like him, like his favourite hoodie. While not perfectly tidy, the room was not disorganized either.

With a huge sigh, I plopped myself down on his bed. "After battling with my ideas and emotions, I have finally realized that I genuinely like you." I repeated the lines that I had mentally prepared to say as soon as he arrives.

"I really like-" I heard the door creak open, so I immediately shut my mouth and waved my hands at him. That was a ridiculous and awkward move, Hana-yah.

"There wasn't much, just some chips and juice" He set the food down on the table in the room's corner and sat down next to me. I gulped again at the closeness, and this time, nervousness caused me to press my lips tightly together.

"I love these chips, y'know. They have always been my favorite" I could not look away from Soonyoung as he continued gushing about how good those snacks were. The way his lashes crinkled when he closed his eyes, the way his lips pouted whenever he spoke, or the hair falling down over his forehead.

I have always loved his hair, but I always forced myself to resist the urge to run my fingers through it. Today, though, I did not resist. I observed his eyes widening, his breathing slowing down, and the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down.

"What did you wanted to talk about?" I had extracted my hand back, my focus on the empty ceiling above. What if he does not feel that way? or what if my confession ruins our friendship? were the questions running through my head.

"You ok?" He attracted my attention by waving his hands in front of his face. "Umm...yeah." I realized I needed to start talking before he bombarded me with more of his incessant questions as the furrow between his brows grew wider.

"Soonyoung-ah" As he patiently waited for me to go on, he batted his eyelashes. I swallowed in deeply, forcing myself not to stammer ot stutter. "I have been incredibly perplexed by my feelings and thoughts, but I have realized that some things led to another."

Because we were so close, his eyes were staring directly into mine, and his ears were slightly red. "That" I paused between my sentences, "That I like you" I immediately closed my eyes, fearing his response to my admission.

We fell into silence, and I started to feel choked by it. I was attempting to peek with one eye open when I felt his lips against mine, which instantly made me freeze.

I was frozen to the spot for a good few seconds, but then I melted into his lips and gave him the kiss back. Soonyoung's hands snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to him.
  
With all the blood rushing to my face, I was definitely blushing wildly. Our lips moved in perfect unison until we both withdrew, panting for breath. I could still feel his lips onto mine and it sent me into waves of explosions, bursts of happiness and excitement.

Soonyoung tucked some strands of hair falling down my face behind my ear. "I really don't k-know h-how to express" I laughed at the way he was acting. His cheekbones were elevated and slightly powdered with pink as he grinned broadly and nonstop.

"You don't like me?" Suddenly in a playful mood, I began teasing him. "No..No..No" He was quick to disagree. He reached out and clasped my face, pressing our foreheads together.

"You don't know how long have I waited for this" He almost seemed relieved, "Why didn't you say anything then?" I put forth my query, "I thought that you liked Junhui and weren't my actions enough to let you know of my feelings?"

When I go back to the moments and times we spent together, I can not help but smile at the idea that he may have liked me all along.

"I really like you...love you, Kang Hana"