And Scene [H.S]

scene five

AVIE STYLES

Harry had only been filming for a few days and already I was beginning to feel a little lonely when he was away for hours on end. I knew it was all part of the job, and it wasn't his fault, I was well aware of how the job worked, I had done it myself and so I knew how easy it was to get caught up at the end of the day or for scenes to be a lot longer than planned. But I was still found glued to the window, waiting for his car to come rolling through the gates. Scout would always wait with me, pointing and asking for his dad every few seconds like he was just going to magically appear, though he was never on cue.

I wouldn't ever admit to Harry that these lonely feelings washed over me every time he left the house, if he knew then he'd definitely never leave for work ever again, no matter how much his job meant to him. And besides, it was a feeling I could get over. After the initial goodbyes I'd normally just busy myself with Scout and the usual housework that needed completing. I'd end up on the phone with Effie for an hour or so, or she'd just end up coming over just to talk my ear off as well as spending some time with Scout and feeding him the upmost crap and then using the excuse that it was her job to be the 'cool auntie', as she put it.

It wasn't until the evenings when the sun started to set and Effie was back in her own home that I started to feel lost in that sea of loneliness all over again. Scout would start to become restless and I'd end up having to cook and juggle him in my arms whilst desperately begging for Harry to come home and take the weight off of my shoulders. I knew for a fact that I wasn't cut out to solo parent at all, and even a few hours had me absolutely shattered.

"Daddy now?" Scout looks up at me with a teddy in his hand, he hadn't even had dinner yet and already he looked like he was fighting sleep, but doing his absolute best to hold out for his daddy to come home.

He had only briefly seen him this morning, Scout had been fast asleep whilst Harry got up and ready for another long day. Harry never wanted to wake Scout when he was snoozing away, he wanted to allow him to get as much sleep as he could, recharging before a busy day ahead. Scout must've been able to sense that his dad was leaving as he immediately started to call out for his dada just mere seconds before Harry was about to step foot outside the door, he was only just awake enough to be able to give Harry a quick snuggle and a kiss before he inevitably had to leave to get on with his day.

He had managed to FaceTime us both at around lunch time, though he only had a few minutes to ask about our day and let Scout babble away to him before his name got called out and we had to say our goodbyes and we were left to our own devices once again. Harry and I would text constantly whilst he was gone, but it still wasn't the same. I wanted him here with me, and even more so now we had Scout in our lives. My biggest fear was something awful happening to either one of us and Harry not being here to fix it. I just couldn't cope with the thought of it.