𝗔𝗹𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘁𝗵𝘆𝗺𝗶𝗮 - TMR AU, Minho.

22 - 𝘍𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨

Hello loves! Before you start reading, I wanted to warn you that in this chapter Mila's thoughts about food aren't healthy at all. After this chapter, her thoughts about food and herself will get worse, but It will get better after a while.
If you're struggling with eating disorders, you can text me anytime.<3

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I spent Two more nights at Teresa's. Her parents didn't mind, and neither did she.
But I had to go home now.
I couldn't just avoid everyone for the rest of my life. It's not how it works.

I ignored every call from an unknown number and just kept hanging around at Teresa's house, not caring about Hunter at all.

It felt unreal. Not going to his place felt wrong. Like something terrible was going to happen and only I could stop it.

After Teresa dropped me off at my house, I wanted to get to my room without having to talk to my parents, but luck is never on my side, is it?

"Nice seeing you home again."
I heard my father's voice.

"So you can beat me up again?"

"Don't be like that, Mila. You know I didn't mean to act like that."

I couldn't help but let out a scoff.

Did he really expect me to forget everything and act like nothing ever happened?

"Yes you did. Now if you'll excuse me," I took a few more steps until Mom interfered.

"Sweetie you know your father wouldn't do something like that on purpose, right? He loves you." She placed a hand on my shoulder, gifting me a sweet smile.

I knew she was nice for a reason. I knew all this was fake and she only wanted me to forgive them.

But she was sweet. For the first time in years She was smiling at me. She had her hand placed on my shoulder, almost hugging me.

It didn't feel real, and I didn't want it to affect me but my heart was already warming up.

See that's one of the things I hated in myself.
I could never hate my Mom.

My father? Sure, I had a strong hatred towards him since I was sixteen, but no matter how terrible my Mom acted, I couldn't hate her. I was too weak for that feeling.

It is her first time living too.

But then why couldn't I forgive my father? Wasn't it his first time living too? Why was I so unforgiving towards him?

I didn't even notice how tears streamed down my face.
Even though she was always playing with my feelings, I still couldn't make the love I felt towards her disappear.

"Why is she crying?" I didn't even notice Newt who just arrived home, but I was glad he arrived.

"Well. Don't all answer at once please." I could feel that he was more angry at them than I could ever be. I don't know, maybe it was the fact that he was hard to manipulate, and I was too sensitive.

He came closer to me, pulling me away from Mom's hands and taking me upstairs with a reassuring hand on my shoulders.

I couldn't talk, or process anything that just happened. I was mentally still downstairs with my Mom's hand on my shoulder.

"Mils you need to stop believing everything Mom says to you." He started talking as I sat on my bed.

I was staring at my shoes, having no energy to verbally respond. So I just hummed.

"I've got some snacks. Wanna watch something?" He offered as he kneeled in front of me and put his hand on my shaky hands.

I slowly nodded, telling him where my laptop was.

As we watched a movie, he offered snacks multiple times and tensed up every time I refused them.

My eyes were focused on the laptop screen, but I couldn't stop thinking about the snacks that were in front of me.

One bite wouldn't hurt, right?

No. I've been so good for one week, I can't just ruin my fast by eating something. I know I'll regret it.

But I need to eat something. Headaches are getting worse and- No.

"Come on, I made them, I want your opinion!" He whined as he pressed a cookie in my hands. "Fry says it's disgusting, but I know it's not. Please?" He made a begging sign with his hands, waiting for me to take a bite.

Okay. Just one bite.

I couldn't tell if it was salty or sweet, but I liked it.
Maybe it was because I hadn't eaten anything for the last week, but it could've been worse.

"So? Is it good?" I nodded after swallowing the last bite. "I knew it!"
His eyes twinkled as he let out a small chuckle.

I could feel the cookie in my stomach. I was laughing with Newt and watching the movie, trying to focus on something else, but it was impossible.

I was right. I felt extreme guilt rise in my chest and suddenly I had an irresistible urge to throw up.

I left the room and went to another bathroom, so Newt wouldn't hear anything.

I tried to keep only food I had eaten in my stomach after such a long time of starving, but I didn't even need to try. Every bite I took was now in the toilet and my vision was all blurry because of the tears.

Well. At least my fasting wasn't ruined. I promised myself to continue for only one more day, then I'd stop.

I wanted to focus on other problems in Mila's life, because I know some of you struggles/struggled with it and if I can, I want to help.

Hope it wasn't triggering, but if it was, let me know<3

Anyway. Take care loves!!☆