North Star [A Bensler FanFiction]

{30}

Olivia was climbing into bed when her bedroom door opened. 

"Mama?" Adalynn asked as she slowly stepped into her mother's bedroom.

"Hey, baby. Are you okay?"

"Can we talk? I have a few questions," the small girl replied, her voice shaking from her nerves.

"Of course we can talk, baby. C'mere, let's snuggle," Olivia smiled softly. 

Adalynn sprinted to the bed, climbed under the sheets, and scooted to the middle. Olivia climbed in after and wrapped an arm around her daughter's waist.

"Are you comfy?" Olivia asked, and Adalynn nodded slowly. She took a shaky breath as she looked at her mother.

"It's your birthday?" 

"Yeah, baby, it is. I'm forty-two today," Olivia breathed.

"Why didn't you tell me? Don't you want to have a party?"

"Addie, your birthday is more important than mine. You should have all the attention on you," Olivia breathed.

"Do you not want to celebrate because I hurt you?" Adalynn whispered, her hands shaking as they took her mother's hand.

"Hurt me? Addie girl, you could never hurt me! You are the biggest blessing in my life and I love you to pieces!"

"Auntie Alex was in a lot of pain when Ella was ready to come out of her belly, so didn't I hurt you, too?" Addie whimpered.

"I was in pain, but it was the best pain. I gave birth to my best friend and the last part of your father I had left... Honey, you don't need to worry about me. My birthday isn't important, but yours is. So please don't feel bad," Olivia replied quickly, as she pulled her daughter onto her lap and gave her a tight squeeze.

"I wish Daddy was here with us," Adalynn whimpered, her salty tears soaking into her mother's nightshirt.

"I do too, pumpkin. Your father was such an amazing man. He fought hard until the end, even when he lost his sight."

"He couldn't see?" Adalynn questioned.

"No, the cancer was in his brain and it hurt his sight. He couldn't see my belly when you were in it, but he felt you move and he heard your heartbeat. I can remember him running his fingers over my face to feel what he once saw," Olivia smiled as she thought of her late husband. 

"Did he love me?" Adalynn asked, her question breaking her mother's heart.

"So very much, baby. We tried for so long to have you."

"That man at dinner, do you love him like you love my daddy?" Adalynn questioned, as she leaned back and brushed tears from her cheeks. Olivia's cheeks blushed as she dragged her daughter closer and buried her face in her brown curls.

Olivia wanted to say yes, but she didn't know if she should. If she and Elliot ever got back together, it might not last.

"Mama-"

"Adalynn Mae, I don't know if I want to be with anyone. I love my life with you, your aunts, and Ella. If someone came into my life and made me change my mind, you would be the first one to know. I'd need your permission to move on," Olivia replied.

"Who is he?"

"He is Elliot Stabler. We were best friends for many years, and he helped me after I moved back here," Olivia answered slowly, thoughts of Elliot spinning around in her head.

///

Olivia was sitting at her desk on Monday morning when a brown paper bag was dropped on her desk. She quickly turned around in her chair and looked at Elliot with wide eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"You didn't text me over the weekend, so I wanted to see you. Thought I'd bring you some breakfast and we could talk," Elliot replied with a smile.

"Seeing you was very confusing for my daughter, so I was on damage control," Olivia replied.

"Confusing? Liv, she never met me. I did talk to her while she was in your belly, but that's all..." Elliot trailed off.

"First of all, you told her about my birthday and she started to ask questions about you and Brian," Olivia replied.

"Olivia, I'm more confused than your daughter," Elliot said with a nervous laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I haven't celebrated my birthday for four years. I was in labor at brunch and couldn't even eat because I felt so sick. So we never told her we shared a birthday. Then she asked about Brian and if he loved her. Then she asked if I loved you the way I love Brian," Olivia replied.

Elliot sank onto the edge of Olivia's desk and gave her a soft smile.

"What's the answer, then?"

"El-"

"Do you love me how you loved Brian?" Elliot asked, as he leaned forward and brushed hair away from Olivia's neck.

"Elliot, I still have feelings for you. I managed to suppress them for so long, but they came flooding back the moment I saw you."

"And it makes things difficult since you are with someone else and don't want to hurt them," Elliot frowned deeply as he exhaled.

"Elliot, I'm single, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to be with anyone. I'm sorry-" Olivia started, but stopped when Elliot caressed her cheek.

"Give me a chance to change your mind. To show you we should be together. Meet me here tonight at six and I'll take you out," Elliot smiled as he stood.

Olivia looked at Elliot with wide eyes but managed a small nod.

"Tonight at six."

"Good, have a great rest of your day," Elliot grinned, before leaning down and kissing the top of Olivia's head as she sat in shock.

Did she really just agree to a date with Elliot?

///

Olivia went out on her lunch and bought herself a dress and a new pair of boots. As she got ready in the bathroom, she felt so stupid. 

"Wow," Amanda spoke, her eyes wide when she saw Olivia. 

"Good wow or bad wow?" Olivia asked, as she nervously smoothed her dress.

"You look hot, Liv! Are you going out with Alex and Casey?" Amanda replied, as she stood and walked to her friend. She made Olivia spin and nodded in approval.

"No, I'm going on a date..." Olivia trailed off.

"With who?" Amanda and Fin said in unison. Olivia didn't even realize that Fin was listening.

"Elliot Stabler is taking me out," Olivia replied slowly as the elevator dinged. She took a shaky breath as Amanda stepped away from her and looked down the hall.

"And it looks like he's right on time. He looks hot too," Amanda grinned, as she turned back to Olivia. When she looked over Olivia's face, she saw red cheeks and the fact Olivia was gnawing on her lower lip.

"I-i can't do this," Olivia whispered, before turning and running to the locker room as Elliot entered the squadroom.