North Star [A Bensler FanFiction]

{10}

Brian started chemo and radiation about a week after the tumor was discovered, but it wasn't shrinking as expected. He continued to have seizures, and most of his time was spent in a hospital bed. Olivia took leave from work to be with Brian, but things were getting expensive, so she could only take a few weeks before going back and working long hours. She spent the day at work and then slept in the hospital at night. 

"Happy birthday, Liv," Brian smiled softly, as Olivia entered his room the morning of her thirty-seventh birthday. 

"Thank you, Bri," Olivia replied quietly, as she shed her jacket and tossed it onto the chair in the corner. Olivia walked to Brian's bed and leaned down to kiss his chapped lips.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't get you anything. I've kinda been busy," Brian joked, but Olivia didn't find it funny. She hated what was happening, and that she would be a widow before she knew it.

Olivia pulled a chair up beside Brian's bed before grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly. She didn't know what to say, especially since this would probably be the last birthday she gets to celebrate with her husband.

"Liv-"

"How are you feeling?" Olivia asked.

"I'm feeling fine... You aren't though," Brian sighed.

"The treatment isn't working, Bri. Changing the type of chemo may help, but the tumor is only getting bigger. Your seizures are getting worse and we haven't been in our apartment together since the night you had your first seizure and I lost our baby," Olivia whispered.

"I'm gonna beat this, Olivia! The tumor will go away and we can try to have another baby," Brian replied, but he knew that wouldn't happen.

"A miracle will have to happen for either of those things to happen," Olivia whimpered, as salty tears streamed down her cheeks. She looked down at their hands and tried her hardest to avoid thinking of her holding Brian's hand as he took his last breath.

"I'm not giving up, Olivia. I'll make it out of here and even if I'm still dying, I'll spend my last days in our home. You will get pregnant because I want to make sure you aren't alone when I die. Okay?"

"Brian-"

"No!" Brian yelled as he shook his hand free from Olivia's. She stood slowly and before looking at the open door. A nurse stood there and frowned as she looked at the couple.

"Mrs. Cassidy, I think it's time you go home," she spoke.

"Yeah..." Olivia trailed off. She turned to look at her husband before placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

///

The fighting continued as Brian went through treatment to shrink his tumor. The chemo was changed, and they pushed the amount of radiation treatments to just below the maximum. Olivia continued to sleep at the hospital but came in long after her husband had fallen asleep. 

"Olivia!" Dr. Anderson called the moment Olivia left the elevator. She had gotten out of work early to have a meeting with Brian's team, even if she didn't want to.

"Hey," she replied plainly. 

"Are you ready to discuss things?" He asked.

"Not really," Olivia admitted.

"Are you okay?" He asked as they walked towards the usual conference room. Brian had seized early this morning, so he wasn't awake to discuss things.

"My husband is dying and we are fighting. What do you think?" Olivia replied bitterly. They walked into the conference room as Dr. Anderson frowned deeply. At first, Olivia was so determined to fight for her husband's life, yet now she was giving up.

They sat together at the large table and Dr. Anderson turned on the projector so they could review Brian's treatment. As they went through everything, Olivia cried quietly to herself. She watched as the slides were changed and saw her husband's brain being attacked by a tumor the size of a tennis ball. She didn't even know how he was talking anymore.

"What did you say?" Olivia asked as she turned to look at Dr. Anderson.

"It has gotten smaller," He spoke.

"Please don't lie to me, Dr. Anderson. If this is your way of getting me to stay around, it was the plan all along. He won't die alone," Olivia replied quietly.

"Olivia, it isn't much, but it has gone down by a few millimeters. It isn't at the rate we want, but it is getting smaller," Dr. Anderson spoke before switching to the last two scans.

Olivia looked at them as more tears slipped down her cheeks. She didn't believe what she saw, especially since her husband was still declining.

"Is there any chance it'll go away completely, or is he still terminal?" Olivia asked.

"Brian will be living with this tumor for the rest of his life. The size of it will determine what his life will be like. He may end up free of seizures, but we won't know until we can shrink it," Dr. Anderson answered. Olivia nodded slowly before using the ends of her sleeves to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

She stood slowly and leaned against the wall. She tried to take slow breaths to calm herself down, but she was so overwhelmed with the news that it was hard for her to relax. 

"Olivia-"

"How long do you think we have?" Olivia asked.

"If it continues to shrink, I can't predict how long he has. If it grows or stays the same, I believe he has until the end of the year at the most. His seizures will get worse and eventually, his body will start to shut down. He may lose his sight, and ability to speak and walk. We will give him the best care until the very end," Dr. Anderson spoke. Olivia nodded weakly as a nurse knocked lightly on the door.

"Mrs. Cassidy, your husband just woke up and is asking for you. He said if you weren't here, he requested I call you because it's his birthday," she smiled.

"Can you tell him today? Maybe make his birthday better?" Olivia asked as she worked on cleaning her cheeks up again.

"Of course, Olivia. C'mon, let's give him a good birthday gift."