Hidden Melodies

Chapter Twenty-Four

Copyright by Joelle Blue ©

Jameson

I didn't get into bed until three a.m. after leaving the club. Rikky and I discussed the best course to keep our hands clean, but he also never wanted to shut up. The last time I saw him, he was five and to him, that meant we needed to catch up. He has no boundaries. I learned things I can't unlearn.

So, when my alarm goes off at seven, I feel like I was hit by a fucking train. I'm almost fifty. I am way too fucking old. But I get up anyway.

I get to the hospital just as visiting hours start and when I make it to the nurse's station in the ICU, a very bouncy nurse turns her smile towards me, which drops a bit after seeing the state of my face, but she recovers quickly.

"Mr. Black! Your brother has started to show signs he's going to wake up soon. You have perfect timing."

I smile at her, excited to finally look John in the eye. "That's amazing, uh," I pause to look at her tag, "Becky, thank you."

"Of course, sir."

When I get into his room, he still has his eyes closed, still looks horrible, still is attached to a bunch of machines. But I wait. I stand in the corner, sip my coffee that cost me seven dollars at a drive through, and watch. Doctors and nurses come in and out, inform me what to expect. I gaze out the window, watching the business of the people down below. I look at the random texts from Oselda over the last few days.

After about five hours of waiting and a shitty hospital sandwich, I see his arms and eyelids twitch. I calmly step toward his bed, watching his face. I watch his breaths get deeper, watch his grimace as he tries to swallow. Achingly slow, I watch his eyes slowly open, grimacing at the light. He blinks rapidly, and finally opens his eyes. He doesn't notice me at first, taking in the room, noting he's now in a hospital. I can see his gears turning, trying to remember why he would be here.

When his eyes finally land on me, I see a myriad of emotions cross his face. Sadness, regret, guilt, acceptance. Maybe a hint of fear.

Good.

I look a little different from the last time I saw him. Years in a cell with the ruthless type of people I've been with will not only change the mind, but it makes you hard. Hard to read, penetrate, understand, not to mention the broken lip and black eye from last night.

Along with the aging and the death of my girl, I can imagine I look nothing like the Jamie he grew up with. Nothing like the man who just wanted to live his life with his wife and baby girl. Dreaming about the life we were going to live, the children we were going to have.

I dreamt of those kids along with Oselda finding love and having their own children. I envisioned what our house would look like with all those people, and my heart would truly skip a beat. All these people would be there because of the love Josie and I shared. My perfect Josephine.

She was an incredible mother. So loving and patient. Knowing that Oselda grew up with such a cunt as a replacement makes my heart shred. It brings tears to my eyes. The only two girls in the world who could bring me to my knees and make me cry are Oselda and her mother, and I do almost every damn day.

Because of this man. Because of this mother fucker's warped obsession for my wife, she was killed. He may not have pulled the goddamn trigger, but he loaded the fucking gun.

He must see the anger in my face. I see him pale even more than he already is.

"You had a lot of nerve calling me, trying to apologize, telling me you loved me, right before you planned to fucking die," I speak low after bending down, getting in his face. He gulps, and his eyes start to shine. "You're a fucking coward. Always have been. You ruined my life, you sorry sack of shit," I breathe and get even closer to him. "Look me in the face and tell me how you failed my baby girl. My fucking daughter! You kept her from me! But I know, little brother. I know how you let that bitch treat her the way she did, I know you were horrible to her, too. Why? Tell me why that perfect girl deserved that?" I question as I look in his terrified yet sad eyes.