Empire of Deception (Harry Styles AU)

Chapter 7

 This was a test.

 Just another thing to mess with my mind. 

   The contract lay before me, taunting me and making me question everything that has happened and everything that has yet to come. In my heart I knew that I didn't want to get involved—that I shouldn't sign on the single line. My father lied when he said we all had a choice of whether or not we wanted to be apart of this project. I don't have a choice... I never did. 

   Pen in hand, the ball point hovers over the line, my mind second guessing. It was a possibility to simply not sign it and face the consequences, but I knew that those consequences included the wrath of of Alexander Jarwin. Something told me that I was apart of this deal... Not in a way that I participate, but instead my services and my expertise, knowledge, and basically my fucking soul was sold in the midst of this deal.

   My father making it seem like I had a choice is just another smoke screen to empower me and make me feel like I somewhat have control over things in my life. It's all a lie. A fucking lie. 

   The ball point presses against the white paper, staining it black. Swirls and movements turn into the signature that is my name.

   It is done.

    And I silently mourn for the part of myself which has yet again been sold off and manipulated by my father.

     I approach Janice's desk, I see that I am not the first to turn in the contract. A man that I have seen around but fail to know his name is just walking out. Our eyes meet for a second and I can tell that he is fearful of the future and what it holds for him. I wonder if he was lied to about having a choice, just like me. When I walk through the doors, Janice seems almost surprised to see me. No. She is surprised that I made up my mind so quickly. 

    I hand her the contract and she doesn't take it right away. She licks her lips and takes a deep breath and finally her aging hands relieves me of the weight. "Thank you," she says quietly and that's when I conclude that my hunch was correct. I am a pawn and my father has me at the front of the line in his army. Janice knows it as well as I do. "Take care," Janice concludes with a practiced smile. 

***

    I am isolated and alone. Sitting on a couch in a flat that is way too big for me, my mind struggles to breathe. Alcohol consumes my blood stream, and soon my tensed nerves feel warm and somewhat loose. My eyes blink lazily as I stare out the large window before me which looks over the beautiful city of London. The honking from cars, and the loud music from the nightlife are nothing more than muffled background noise from way up here.

     Darkness consumes me and everything around it, the only light coming from a small and dim overhead bulb in the hallway. I've only had a few glasses of bourbon but my senses are being taken away faster thanks to the lack of food in my stomach. A fridge is only a stones throw away from me but I already know that no food lives in there. The whole reason for me living alone was so I could take care of myself, by myself, but I haven't even managed to do that. I groan loudly in exhaustion as I lay my head back against the back of the leather couch. I never used to be the person who would literally be sitting in the dark. 

    When I first moved in I loved having the lights on because I was able to see everything that I could call mine. As the years went by the lights slowly stopped being turned on, the darkness around me mirroring the darkness that was slowly consuming my brain. And now here I am. The electricity from the outside gives off enough light so I can still navigate the space, and resting on the coffee table in front of me are the weekly reports I requested April to make sure I got. Haven't even touched them. I don't know if it's my drained mind telling me this, but I swear that everything from that building burns my fingers. I want nothing to do with it. For tonight that decision will be okay. Tomorrow I will wake up, put my suit on, grab my papers, and return back to my office like an obedient servant. A droid. Something who doesn't have a mind of it's own.