Behind The Door of Mannat

Self-Reflection [2/3]

— Memories —

After calming myself from the sudden attack of traumatic thoughts, I decide to get back to the room to see what the mother and her kids are up to. They seem about to end the call when I show up at the door. Azran notices it first.

“Papa, you are late! We are about to hang up,” He says. I look at the phone which is in Azira’s hand now. The call is still connected.

“Give the phone to Papa, please. I need to talk to him.”

Azira hands down the phone to me after saying goodbye to her mother. I look at myself in the camera, fixing my wet hair while I let Kajol do the talk.

“The kids are sleepy. Take them to sleep then get back to me. Don’t hang up.”

The order makes me frown. But I only obey. Azira and Azran were already yawning since I was telling the story earlier. It is just a matter of time before they actually doze off. I pull the blanket up to their chest, kiss them good night, then turn off the light before I get out of their room. Now, I am heading towards my own room while my phone is still connecting to Kajol.

“You look tired and messed up,” Kajol says. I look at her on the screen while raising my eyebrows.

“Who does not get tired after babysitting two active kids like Azira and Azran?” I say. She just giggles.

“I am sorry. My condolences.”

“How is the shoot?” I ask as I pull the doorknob to my room. My bed looks so tempting as if calling me to immediately lie on it.

“Good. Jisshu said you gave him some calls.”

I drop my body on the bed while exhaling deeply. It feels so good. My muscles are relaxing after being used at maximum capacity for the day.

“Yeah I did. Just to make sure you are safe there,” I answer truthfully. I did give Mr. Jisshu Sengupta, the Bengali actor and Kajol’s co-star in her next series, some calls in the morning. But I did not mess up with him. I know my limits.

“Baby, I am safe. He is not here,” She says. I hug her pillow while looking at her for a second. I know who she means by ‘he’. To be honest, I don’t really believe it.

“I know. Just in case,” I smile. “Anyway, Mr. Sengupta and I did not talk about nonsense. He just asked me how you like your coffee served, how to handle you on sets. I know how to keep your name clean.”

“He knows how to handle me. Well, not as experienced as you maybe. But he is doing okay. Your calls spooked him a bit.”

I only smile at her while she giggles. We just stare at each other through the screen for some time. I can’t see clearly where she is. The background is just too dark and her surroundings are noisy with engine sounds. I am just about to ask when she interrupts me first.

“This is our anniversary night, right?”

I nod. This is the night of 14th of June, the day when we supposedly celebrated our 22nd marriage anniversary. Since she is not home, we could not throw a party to celebrate. I don’t mind, anyway. She likes being busy at work as much as I do. I only wanted to give her a lot of space for herself. Parties can wait.

“I am sorry I could not be home with you. I should have finished my work earlier.”

“No, don’t be sorry. It is okay. You finish your work in peace then come back home safely. We can celebrate later.”

I really mean it. When you have been knowing a person for so long, celebration to remember the day you met her is not going to be that important. What matters is that she is still here with me. Not that I don’t appreciate the day, but I really think that doing her favorite things is more important for me.