Defining Secrets // Ron Weasley

Chapter Seventeen: A Night Spent Screaming and Forgiveness and Stuff

Elise's POV:

The next morning I woke up screaming. But I wasn't heard.

After having accidentally stirred my roommates awake my first night here, and after managing to convince them the thunder was what scared me, I casted a protective shield around my bed that not only stopped intruders from getting in, but also blocked out the sounds of my screams.

They weren't always so bad. It was only sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night panicked. In others, I was trapped. Forced to keep on dreaming throughout the night. As if I was being held down. Made to watch. Demanded to listen. Occasionally, I could hear my mum humming to me, feel her hands brushing over my hair as it happened. It was a strange sort of comfort I found when something particularly gruesome was happening. Being soothed while still being made to stay.

My nightmares would always come when least expected and it never hurt to be prepared. So every night I casted the charm over my bed. Whispering the words and flicking my wand only after all my roommates had fallen asleep. They were all none the wiser.

I'd been taught the spell the day the nightmares began. My mum would place her hand over mine and show me how to motion as I clutched the wand in my hand. I remember watching in awe as the lights flickered from the carved wooden stick, seeing the colours reflect in my mum's eyes as she looked back at me smiling. She'd hate for anybody to know what happened to us.

Only, the excitement of casting this charm over and over got boring with time. Repetitive. A strange sort of normalcy. And therefore, less exciting than it was to me as a child. I was always glad to never have forgotten to cast it.

Sitting up to stretch, I followed my morning with a yawn. I reached over to grab my book, only to remember I'd finished it last night and fell back onto my bed. I was getting a headache. Normally, Thistle would be by my side by now, helping my nerves by letting me pet her instead. Her soft purrs would soothe me. But she'd been wandering around all day, probably trying to avoid Ginny. Thistle wasn't exactly pleased with the concept of having clothes chucked at her. Although Ginny hadn't seen the black cat when preparing for my assumed date.

I groaned. Before, I was relieved. Now, I was embarrassed. And briefly contemplating how I could possibly interact with Jim after we left things. I still hadn't heard from him. Not that I'd sent him a letter, either. But thinking back to the awkward silence and the no contact we've had since then- merlin.

But it didn't matter, because I was about to be late. I rushed to class and both prayed I wouldn't, and hoped I would, run into him. Although better him than Ron. Because I wasn't sure I'd found the strength to know what to say to him yet. Although it didn't really matter if I did.

For most of today I was able to avoid Ron. We didn't have any classes together until tomorrow and I narrowly managed to avoid him in the hallways. Sure, it meant having to take longer routes and having to pretend I didn't see him when he glanced my way or called my name, but it was manageable.

I sat down in Charms class knowing that either way, I was going to have to see Dean. He came in a few minutes later, saying hi to a couple of his mates before taking his designated seat next to me. My nose was buried in my bag searching for a quill. I could sense him taking up the seat but continued searching.

"Hey," he chimed.

Internally, I cheered. Thankful to not have to be the one to start this conversation.