INAYAT

Hope

Noor

He is dragging me back to that hell .
His strong arms lift me up and throw me away.
"I will tell everyone about you , how filthy you are " he says with a filthy smirk on his lips .

"No no no no -

I jolt awake, crying . I look around trying to find him but he is nowhere . where is he ?

I try to take deep breaths to calm myself down . I realise it was just another nightmare . my condition is getting worst . but I can't tell anybody about this . I can't let anybody know about this . no one will know .

I take the bottle of pills out of the drawer and take 2 pills . these pills help me calm down a bit . I secretly got them though a worker in the NGO . I know this wrong but I have no other option.

I keep my hand on my heart which is beating loudly . my heartbeat  has been uncontrollable since I saw him in the charity event yesterday. I walked back home , I was a mess so I quickly ran in to  my room, Farida ji saw me and passed me a confused look .

I have locked myself in here since then . I can't let anyone see me in this state . Farida ji knocked on the door many times but I politely told her that I am busy so she can relax . I know she doesn't believe my lies but she didn't say anything .

My thoughts have been revolving around him .
I have been trying to convince myself , that its been 5 years so he won't remember a girl he found in a brothel.
Why would he remember someone so .......................... Useless ?

That's right . I hope it is right . I hope he doesn't remember anything about me . I hope he has forgotten everything  . I hope even if hope is my enemy .
Because if he does remember me,  it will be a mess . he will tell my uncle about what happened . he will tell everyone about me .  uncle wouldn't  be able to survive  that . no I will not let that happen .

I lie back down . my eyes remain open . I  am scared if I close them , I will get those nightmares again . the ones in which I am bound , I can't do anything while people drag me to the darkness . not people , it will be him.

What an irony it is , the one who saved me years ago is now my worst nightmare.

√∆√∆√∆√∆√∆

The stylist puts the last piece of jewellery on my neck . and then taps my shoulder to look up in the mirror . I look up and stare at my reflection on the mirror . I am wearing a beautiful dark green lehenga . it is hand embroidered , the detail work done on this lehenga is extravagant . luxury gold jewellery adorn my neck . I look like a princess that is marrying her prince charming .

But there is no prince charming here . he is the devil . he will drag me back to the darkness.

Today is the day of the engagement ceremony . uncle told me that the wedding will take place in two weeks . uncle is still cold to me , but I survive on the small gestures of care that he does.
Like the special stylist he appointed for me to make sure I get to wear what I want on my wedding . although  afterwards ,he did try to reason it by saying that he is only doing this for his reputation .but I know he still loves me , I can't see it in his eyes before he puts the cold mask back .