Avengers One-Shots

Infidelity (5)

"We're having a boy." I smiled as we walked off the elevator.

"I'm having a son ... we're having a son ... you're giving me a son." James whispered.

"Are you okay?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"I'm gonna be a dad." he said, wrapping his arms around me and tucking his head in the crook of my neck. "I don't deserve it." he whispered.

"You deserve every and all the good things." I said softly, wrapping my arms around his neck and squeezing.

"Thank you, baby."

"You're so very welcome, James."

"We have a nursery to set up." he said.

"Four more months."

He started to say something, but my grumbling stomach interrupted, making him laugh.

"Let's get you two some food." he smiled.

"Yeah, let's do that."

This is how I imagined things would be for us. For our little family. Unfortunately, that's not how things are anymore, and as sad as that might make me, that's how things are. I still love him, I miss him so much, and I miss us so much.

"Hey, where'd you go?" James asked, cupping my cheek.

"What?"

"You spaced out on me. Where'd you go?"

"Not important." I muttered, stepping away.

"Ana ..."

"I've asked you not to call me that."

"Right, let's go ... do you still ... are you sure you want to have dinner with us?" he asked, and I could read the uncertainty clear as day in his eyes and tone.

"Do you not want me there?" I asked.

"I want more than I have a right to want. My concern is making sure that you don't feel uncomfortable or upset." he replied, cupping my cheeks in his hands again.

"Probably both." I admitted.

"Anastasia ..."

"It's best for me to get comfortable around you two together before the baby arrives. I don't want our son channeling any discomfort from me."

"You don't have to do this." he sighed.

"I want to. I miss both of you, and I miss us. It's just ... different now."

"I don't know how, but I will do everything I can to have your forgiveness."

"You can't ask forgiveness for something you don't regret doing. It'd be a lie. Steve makes you happy, and I don't want you to regret that."

"I am sorry, and I do regret it. I regret so much, Anastasia. I regret hurting you. I regret hurting Steve. He tried to stop, not that his arguments were very persuasive. I tried to stop, too, but I just couldn't. I love you even though you don't want to hear or believe it. I love you, and I am still in love with you. I'm also in love with Steve. That makes me the bad guy because I want to have you both and I don't know how to give up that fantasy." he told me with tears collecting in his ocean blue eyes.

"You have to." I whispered.

"Do you still love me?"

"James ..."

"Just yes or no."

"I ... yes, I still love you, but that doesn't change things now." I admitted.

"Yeah, I know. It's still good to hear." He smiled.