June 13
Dear diary,
So...there is this new boy. I am not really sure but i think i find him quite attractive. I dont know if its just a coping mechanism to move on from Alex. I hope it is not but i feel forced kinda. Feels really worthless at this point. Everything sucks. Imagine loving someone and making them the entire part of a life and then having to forget them in a single day. Alex here. Alex there. Alex everywhere while he is probably out there somewhere wondering how pretty his gf is. Ngl but damn she is hot, too much to the point i was shocked that HE could pull a literal goddess like her. I am exhausted. They say loving someone is like being a devotee but all i have is embarrassment, agony and regret. Just make it stop. I cant..
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June 14
Dear diary,
I cut off all contacts with Alex and its so much better. Btw the new boy is kinda cute, i was staring at him during chem class and im not sure if he noticed. His smile is so chubby aagh. But I started shipping him with my girl bsf, Lily. Idk i am crazy right? But guess what, that way i can find out info about him. I will tell what im exactly feeling but before that i gotta remind myself that this is just a distraction from Alex so once i move on this is over too so i shouldn't do the mistake that i did with Alex and should probably not get attached. Also maintain a healthy friendship if possible. Ok So i am noticing him quite more often. He is really cute. I got butterflies once and firstly when he walked by. Kinda curious about him but he has no socials. Im in a 'mediocre attraction' phase rn. But the feelings for alex developed fastly, maybe bc there wasnt any drama at that time. Anyway i will leave it up for the future. Bye
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June 16
Dear diary,
Who knew teenage years sucked? Its just bullshit and heightened emotions one after other but unlike vampires, i cant bit anyones tendon when im angry. Wishing these memories would fade but they dont. Alex and his friends stare at me sometimes and we made eye contact like twice but i hope they realised that idgaf anymore. All I felt was regret after regret after regret. I cant seem to wrap my head around either of them. One i've loved too much that its dangerous other i've loved too less that i cant feel anythinh.im cooked bruh. ANyway gotta enjoy the weekend oof
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