3rd July
Dear diary,
I saw him early in the morning today. We were beefing lol, I meant the new boy not the one you thought I was talking about. Cheers to me for that any how we talked to each other, roasted one another, I threw stuff at him and he threw stuff at me loll. This is fun just like that. I also ship my bestfriend with the new boy bc they have lots of chemistry with each other and also to make my case seem less obvious. You might think I'm weird, setting my bestfriend up with someone I like- wow that does sound weird but one important thing is that he is just a coping mechanism or a timepass, nothing more.
Something crazy happened. During our club day, I had to shift to Alex's class for a project and as I was sitting, I noticed that I was sitting in HIS seat right under which his bag was present. Of course I know his bag, I was damn crazy about that guy. I felt really scared tbh, bc In my heart somewhere, I expected it, going to his class, being in his seat, but when it happened and that too coincidentally, it sort of felt unreal. Just one last fact, the new boy is so damn cute, his eyes are so charming, it's more like a mature kind of crush that I'm feeling rn. His smile is literally so addictive, it makes it hard not to obsess over. It's literally impossible to hide my feelings. I like him really damn much. Well see you tomorrow bye!
4th July
Dear Diary,
So we are much closer now, he calls me stupid names and we beef lol. I might have went a little overboard but I'm not now. I have a lot on my mind and it's so hard just to do anything. My mind is blank, I hate going home now. Before, home used to sound the best place where I can freely watch cartoon and do no assignments or stuff but as I grew, I started hating it. Home means my parents yelling at me whenever they get the chance and lowering my confidence to the point I give up. I would rather study for 24 hours than to return there.
Well I guess it's just part of the process and that it will get better soon. School ain't that great either. 'he' shows up wherever I go and I cant stay without ignoring him. When I liked him, I WISHed for him to pass by and now that I don't want him, he pops up every fucking where. Life is brutal damnn. Goodnight and kudos to me for not slitting a Sharpie over my veins!
