Dear Benjamin,
it is currently 22:40 at the time of writing this
I am writing to you cause you are the only one who I could think of who would be awake right now, you were always out and about during this time, and in the end, I think that's what ultimately led to our break up. you were always gone, never wanting to spend much time with me or show me off. it always seemed like you were too busy for me, but not for other girls, you always had time for them. I hated it, our relationship was just you hiding me, hiding the fact you were with me, or trying to make it seem like you didn't even know me by ignoring me when our paths would cross on our separate nights out with our different friend groups. no one had any idea, I wanted to tell my friends about us, but they never believed me. when we broke up it broke me, no one believed we had dated. they would ask what was wrong when I showed sadness over the loss of our relationship but would instantly get mad when I said it was about our breakup, always saying that it was all in my head and they know we never actually dated. I stopped being friends with them after that. then I met Colton. then you moved away. I thought I had finally gotten rid of everything that tied me back to you but two months later you came back. it was really hard, especially because you pretended like you didn't break my heart as we had never broken up, I had made a couple of new friends during the time you were gone, and conveniently you would somehow become their best friends almost instantly, and suddenly we were hanging out together again, you started to acknowledge me, saying hi to me and asking me how I've been and laughing at my jokes, every time you did I cant deny I felt something, but it was mostly hurt. why were you acting so nice and friendly now? where was this version of you when we were dating? it doesn't matter anyways. we only got 3 weeks of friendship back before you suddenly had to move again. I am indifferent about it, I am glad I didn't get close to you again, but I still hope life is treating you well. I know life was tough on you as a child. I pray things are going well, I have no way to contact you, and I have no reason to, but somewhere deep in my heart, I want to know that you are ok. with this, I hope I can sleep well tonight. thank you for listening. good night Benjamin. I love to hate you ----- Jenesis
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