Attacca ─ Five Hargreeves

12. No More Heartbreaks

It was late.

The firmament grew thick with darkness, it had been hours after his brief absence, so Genevieve assumed it was late. A prick of worry certainly jabbed her heart, but she just knew not to invade the space he needed. Five felt overwhelmed, with his work still far from finished, the grief that had not really been resolved in a long time, voices that impeached him of not doing enough, it all combatted within his body and he didn't know what to do other than pulled himself out of the scene. It was obvious he wasn't taught to cave into common emotions, after all, he grew up in a household that constantly demanded stability inside out, and here in the apocalypse.

Five might look dauntless, had tons of knowledge and prime powers, but he still overthought everything allusively, he had his own fear inside, something still regularly falsified his feelings, yet halfway through he just stopped owning up to it.

Genevieve noticed how he was still trying to be comfortable around her, he was still having trouble keeping up with her pace who was now more open with her feelings. She felt safe with him, he was the only one here, of course, she would set everything aside and just make herself contented with what she had. Unfortunately, it was a different case for him, he just couldn't fully put his trust in anything yet—not even his own self. He tried, but the notion of most things being shattered, being lost, or betraying his soul that was already breakable enough still haunted his entire core.

Five was afraid to feel, to fall into a pattern of believing that everything was okay because time was cunning, it could be severely treacherous and take everything away from him again. It had been so traumatic for him the first time, he might not outlive the second time it happened. This was partially her fault too for pushing him over the edge. She was also the one who brought out all the emotions and insecurities he had never come clean about, her presence forced him to deviate from his original plan, and her rocky well-being that sporadically brought concern, everything just fell apart with her sudden existence within his scope.

But Genevieve was here, she promised she would try to be there every step of the way for him. Even though she didn't want to make false promises, she still wanted him to know she was here, she would hold his hand, and march through this tragedy together for as long as she breathed.

It was nearly dawn, the sky was starting to crack giving out bursts of soporific shade. Her eyes were tired, she closed and opened them to nod off for a quick minute repetitively. Her hands just kept adding wood to keep the fire from dying, he needed a glimmer of light on his way back, didn't he?

But in the end, her body was just overly drained she didn't realise she had fallen asleep until midday. The moment she fluttered her eyes open, she already sensed a gust of pain in her neck, probably from the uncomfortable position, then she noticed out of the corner of her eye the figure she was waiting for sitting next to her, and it made her realise that her head had been resting on his shoulder for who knows how long.

Genevieve immediately straightened up, while staring at him expectantly. His gaze still looked detached yet loaded with emotion all at once, he glanced at her briefly, giving her a small smile before reverting to focus on sharpening his knife.

It was barely perceptible, it would be easy to miss if one weren't precisely observing, but she saw it. There were traces of tears in his slightly swollen, weary eyes. Her heart ached at the sight, he had been scared since he was thirteen, but in such an unlikely ambience, he just had to freeze out those feelings. And when he found her, took her in, he was even more driven to show no weakness for the sake of both of them, he automatically had to be strong to help her survive.

The bloated silence had conveyed that Five was still processing everything. She didn't pressure him, she would go along with his pace, so instead she wrapped her arms around his waist, placing her chin on his shoulder, whispering if he was uncomfortable, she would let go. But he didn't respond with words, he just bumped his head gently on hers as if to signal her to hold him close.