Chapter 5 - Part 2

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As I lie there in bed, my thoughts turn to that subject again: How will the world end? Are we the only survivors here?

Mikael had tried to convince me that this isn't the case. That there are many more people in same situation as us right now. The world hasn't ended, the world has been reborn. And for that to happen, the old ones need to fall.

The old man in the church couldn't explain why he collapsed like that. His body just stopped working, he explained. Later in the evening something similar had occurred. Robin of all people had been found lying on the ground next to the road. The same road that Mikael asked us all to avoid without any further explanation.

Gabriel had gone to look for him and found him there uncontactable. When he woke up, he recounted a similar scenario to the old man in the church. I had only heard this through rumours. The whole situation sent shivers down my spine.

I thought about the buildings that for no known reason collapsed like that. How the people around us seem to be experiencing the same thing. Falling to the ground without being able to provent it. I'm feeling scared, scared and helpless.

Frida was on the other side of me lying with her nose deep in a book . I studied her discreetly. Her red hair was all over the pillow, eyes rolling back and forth behind glasses between lines of words. She had a pleasant face, open with a constant smile on her face. Someone you could turn to.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt like her opposite. Although I tried to smile, it looked fejk. It didn't light up my face like it did with Frida. My narrow eyes seemed to disappear into their dark sockets. I always looked so bored. The dark blonde hair lay flat against the head without any volume whatsoever.

Why I suddenly became so concerned about my appearance made me wonder. Was it because of Robin? Did I want to look good in front of an old boyfriend? I didn't really know how I felt about him. Of course he crossed my mind over the years. But my mind have been so occupied with new, bad relationship that the old ones fall into oblivion.

The relationship with Robin was the least traumatized of them all. Even though I was deeply hurt right after the breakup, cursed him and wished him to hell and back. But, over time, I would been able to see a little from his perspective. Not just being preoccupied with my own feelings.

- You and Robin, what happened between you? Frida had placed the open book on her chest and was now lying with her head turned towards me.

It was just the two of us in the room so I felt I could talk freely. In addition to a friendly face, Frida exuded a sense of confidence. And quite honestly, I had needed to talk to someone since the meeting with Robin. I smiled while looking up at the ceiling.

- Honestly, I don't think he felt the same way about me, even though he was the perfect boyfriend, it was always something missing, I said.

- What was missing? Frida's question made me think again.

In the beginning it felt like a fairy tale. Robin wooed me like no one had before. Made me feel special. And I fell head over heels for him. All the while I was getting proof that he felt the same. But something always felt off. Sometimes I got the feeling that everything was a just a play pretend. He was there, but at the same time not.

A feeling of guilt came over me as I remembered one of our arguments.

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