Incendiary Hearts

Chapter Eighteen

Kevin didn't sleep a wink that night. As darkness enveloped his room, sleep remained an elusive visitor, avoiding him entirely. His chest throbbed incessantly, a dull ache that seemed to seep into his very bones. Each heartbeat felt like a heavy burden, accompanied by an hefty amount of pain that refused to subside. Tears welled up in his eyes every so often, tracing silent paths down his cheeks, a testament to the turmoil within. Would he ever get over this?

No, he wouldn't.

Even though the night offered him no sleep, he got up when the alarm rang. He made himself ready in a robotlike manner and then went to school. Savannah and Scott were eager to know if anything had happened with the guy at the bar yesterday, but Kevin simply told them he'd gone home alone and then went on to focus on the lectures, barely able to spend them any energy.

As the hours slipped away, the weight of Kevin's loss grew heavier, the ache in his chest intensified with each passing moment. The stark reality of having lost the one he loved deepened, casting a shadow over his every thought and movement, making the mere act of continuing seem almost insurmountable.

Exiting the final lecture of the day, Kevin's mind was a fog, unable to grasp or retain any of the professors' words. His only focus was to reach his apartment, an automatic response driven by an overwhelming need to seek refuge in solitude.

Collapsing on his bed, he found no respite in sleep for yet another night. The pain, however, seemed to amplify in tandem, an unrelenting force that refused to ease its grip until it reached a crescendo unfathomable and previously unknown to him. It wasn't merely physical, it was a poignant ache that rose above the confines of his body, an emotional anguish that seeped into every fiber of his being. Morning's arrival came with a harsh realization, the prospect of enduring another day at school, navigating the corridors, focusing on lectures, being social with Savannah and Scott, would be mission impossible. The thought of surviving the relentless ache was a burden too heavy to carry in the confines of a lecture hall. Home beckoned with an overwhelming urgency. The familiarity, the comfort of his childhood bedroom, felt like the only sanctuary where he might find a semblance of solace. He didn't care it was a Wednesday and that he still had half a week filled with classes, he needed to get home. And so that's what he did. He packed a small bag and took the first available train to Wilmington, Delaware. He didn't bother informing his parents of his arrival, he knew they'd welcome the surprise. Besides, he didn't want to spill his guts over the phone.

As his hollow eyes stared out the window of the train, the pain and thoughts enveloped his entire being. He didn't think he'd ever truly given up on them. Him and Michael. There'd always been a part of him, however small, that had thought they'd eventually end up together. But now, now all hopes were lost. The ember left him, bit by bit, with every heavy breath leaving his body, until there was nothing left but an empty hole where his vibrant heart had once resided.

The train ride was quick; being so deep in his own, dark thoughts, he barely acknowledged the time as it passed him by. As he left the train station, it didn't take long until he was standing in the driveway of his childhood home. He gazed upon the beautiful house that held so many dear memories. Of him and Jonathan growing up there, and Michael soon joining in on every single memory. Playing in the vast garden, goofing around in the swimming pool out back, climbing up the old Red Oak to their tree house, racing down the street on their brand-new bikes. The memories were so many, and he would always hold them dear. But right now, right now, there were pain etched between every single one of them. He knew that eventually, he would revisit these memories with joy once more, but today was not that day.

Kevin sighed deeply and walked up the driveway. Reaching the front door, he pulled out his keys and unlocked it. "Mom?" He called out loud while dropping the duffel bag on the floor. "Dad?"