Textbook Suicide

Tour day 1

I wake up and roll over to see Bruce in his bed. His breaths are in a pattern that's calm and quiet with a small snore at the end of each one. It's not that annoying snoring, its the peaceful kind, the one that adds character to someones sleep. Like they're incapable of being normal, they have to have something special. Bruce is the something special, however. I always knew I had an undeniable crush on Bruce when we met as teens, but damn it does get worse with time. It's the way his hair falls in his face when he looks down, his focused face when he plays the piano so gracefully and beautifully, or maybe it's how he's always smiling. Not now, though. Bruce has a steady, peaceful look on his face. It was calm and collected, with no thoughts behind it. Probably some dreams but the face showed no signs of life, so much so it started to freak me out. I start to realize i've been looking at him way too long when he begins to stir un his sleep, however, its like a train crash. I just...can't look away. Bruce rubs his tired eyes and looks around. His eyes widen, still glassy from waking up so recent.

"How long have you been looking at me?" Bruce chuckles weakly and closes his eyes again.

"Uh- not long." I mutter. Fuck. Am i really the same dude as that 13-year-old kid who held knives up to kids throats and threatened them over an arcade game? I'm so...soft now. Its odd. I am not the same Vance Hopper I was 9 years ago. Bruce hums and then laughs again in response.

"Hm...okay" He smiles, his eyes still shut.

—

The opening band is strong and loud. They play with passion. I feel like they would be pissed if they found out we made this band as a joke at first. We all stand behind stage, waiting to come out. Once they finish we walk out onto the stage. A roar of applause and overwhelming cheers erupt from the crowd. I take my drumsticks out of my jean jacket pocket and go to sit down at my drums. Robin starts to thank everyone and calms the crowd a bit. He takes his sleek red and black electric guitar and pulls the strap above his head, settling the guitar comfortably on his shoulders. I look out into the crowd. It's the exact people i would expect to listen to these sorrowful words. There's people with lots of makeup and band tee's on. There's people decked out in our merch. There's people under 18 and people over 20. Everyone here is here to listen to us, there's no backing out now.

Bruce leans over from his piano and whispers in my ear. "I feel sick." He looked pale, but it could be the lighting.

"The show must go on." I wink and him and cue him to start the first song. We play beautifully, Finney and Robin's voices are angelic as always, and everyone is screaming our lyrics. We end the last song and I lean over to give Bruce a gentle rub on the back. He seems to appreciate it and leans into it. We thank everyone again for coming and go out to greet fans.

SAOIRSE SPEAKS
wc: 559
this was somehow the longest and shortest chapter yet.
i tried to salvage how out of character he was this chapter but its not easy to make him in character and in love at the same time 🤷‍♀️