Not Allowed

V

After graduation you pick what job you want. Spencer chose to go to the army. I chose to become an artist.
     I was at a lost for inspiration until now. For the first time in two months I went to the art office and went into my studio.
There was fine layer of dust everywhere, the smell of paint wafted through the air. I brought out my paints and paint brushes and headed over to the blank canvas that had been sitting on my easel the whole time.
I got to work. Never had I put so much emotion into a piece. It got to the point where tears began to flow down my cheeks as all my bottled up emotions were released into the painting. I worked so hard sweat began pouring  down my face mixing with the tears. Intensity was radiating from me.
After what seemed like hours I put down my brush and wiped my arm across my forehead smearing dark blue paint across my face. I stepped back and examined my work.
Dark purple and grey clouds covered the sky. Dark green grass covered a hill and swayed indicating there was a strong breeze. On top of the hill stood an old, barren tree. Descending from the clouds was a single bolt of lightning hitting the tree. In the very top right corner was a hit of light.
I took the canvas off the easel and marched out of my studio and into my bosses office. I dropped the painting on her desk and folded my arms.
She looked up from her paperwork and looked at me. "Oh you came in today. It's been a while."
I nodded my head and she examined the painting.
"I see sadness and intensity, with that speck of hope. It's a wonderful piece. It'll be put up tomorrow at the art show and will be priced high," she said.
"Thank you very much," I said and walked out. I locked up my studio and went to the cave.

"You're late and there's paint on your face," Ash said as soon as I entered the cave.
"Yeah yeah yeah I know," said with a wave of my hand.
"What were you doing?" Ash asked as I sat next to him.
"I went to work," I shrugged.
"You have a job. You're only 16," he said with a confused look on his face.
"In Spero we graduate when we're 16 then we choose what job we want. I chose to be an artist," I explained.
"Really? In Fidem we graduate when we're 17," he said.
"So you're still in school? Shouldn't you've been going this entire time?" I asked.
"We've been on break this whole time," he rolled his eyes.
"Well excuse me for not knowing your village." I said with a laugh.
"You laughed!" He exclaimed. "Yes! You're getting better!"
"You help me forget," I said quietly. He didn't hear me, but that's okay he didn't need to.
                                                                                         ...

For the first time since before meeting Ash I decided to go visit one of my best friends, Rita.
I walked up to her door, took a deep breath, and knocked. The door creaked open and I was engulfed in a bear hug.
"I haven't seen you in forever!" She exclaimed. "Your mom told my mom everything and she told me everything. I wanted to visit you, but I didn't know what to say! And it just kept slipping my mind! I went to your house two days ago, but your mom said you were out! Oh my goodness I'm a terrible friend for not visiting!"
"It's okay. I'm the terrible one for not visiting you sooner," I tried to reassure her.
"No it's not! Your boyfriend died! It's totally my fault!" She insisted and released me. "Come on let's go in."
We walked in and turned left up the stairs. We entered her room and sat on her bed.
"So how've you been doing," she asked gently.
"I'm hanging in there. No longer sitting in my room wallowing," I said nodding my head.
"I'm so sorry this happened and right when he proposed. Gosh! It's awful just awful. You're so strong," she   exclaimed.
"It's fine really. Enough about me. About you? How's Joshie?" I asked glad to change the subject.
"Oh he's fine. You know him, carefree. Well in fact..."
"Little Minx!" Yelled a voice from the doorway.
I faced the door, there stood Josh with his arms wide expecting a hug. I got up and hugged him.  It really had been too long. "Hey Joshie," I teased him as we broke apart.
He groaned/laughed a little. "When will you stop calling me that?"
"When you stop calling me Little Minx," I retorted.
"Which will never happen," he said.
"So there's your answer."
"Okay since we have catching up to do lets go to the park, so I don't break the rules and step into this room," Josh suggested and we headed to the park.
Josh and Rita held hands as we made our way through the streets. I looked longingly at their hands, I miss being able to do that.  At the park we sat in the grass by the old swing set.
"Best friends reunited," Josh declared.
"It's only been a month, you're acting like it's been ten years," I said.
He gave me an exasperated eye roll and sigh. "Pardon my joy of seeing one of my best friends whom I haven't seen it what feels like forever."
I rolled my eyes and smiled. We spent the afternoon talking. It was like old times, almost. If Spencer were there then it would've been.
When Josh had to go he stood and hugged me. "Hang in there Little Minx, it'll get better," he whispered.
"Thanks Joshie," I whispered back. He stepped back patting me on the shoulder.  He kissed Rita and left.
"Have any guys in your sights?" Rita asked.
I looked at like she was crazy. "No. I haven't even talked to any guys besides Josh, my dad, and brothers," I lied, she can't know about Ash.
She searched my face, "sorry that was insensitive of me. I just want you to be happy."
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine, I promise," I assured her.
"If you ever need to talk I'm always available," she said.
"Thanks Rita."

I got home that night and didn't feel so sad anymore. Of course I was sad, but I guess being with my friends is helping me to move on.