Live, Love, & Poetry

My Inner thoughts part 3

*disclosure these poems can be triggering to anybody who might be going through some things please if you feel like these poems are too much call a family member or friend or a trusted adult to get help. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Thank you*

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 "I love you"

Those three words are like the bullets and your mouth is the gun.

"I love you"

Those three words can change the world or destroy the whole universe

"I love you"

Those three words can make one person the happiest when said to the right one but can leave another cold and bitter.

"I love you"

Is the sweetest but dangerous three words any human can say to another.

Those three words can change a life forever or make someone dead.

No I am not speaking of literal death, but can leave one feeling dead inside. Leaving one person feeling like they were never good enough, and leaving them with this emptiness inside. Feeling as if their whole life has collapsed onto their feet and not being able to do anything about it. Having a feeling of desperation of finding someone else because the one person they love didn't love them back.

Saying those three words can be dangerous so the next time someone says those three words make sure they understand that those three words can either make or break someone's life forever.

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I wish my heart wasn't made of gold.

I wish my heart wasn't made of love

But instead made out of coldness and darkness.

I wish I could be as cold as the winter time.

I wish I could be heartless as you.

I wish I could just look at you and say I don't give a fuck about you.

But instead,

My heart burns like the sun,

My heart is longing for the one,

My heart doesn't know when to be done.

I just wish he could get a handgun.

And pull the trigger.

To end the suffering much quicker.

However,

I am stuck with this loving heart with no way out.

I am stuck with this heart that is stubborn as fuck.

My mind is telling me to drink until I blackout.

While my heart is running out of luck.

I can feel myself turning into what I wish for.

I can feel my heart becoming colder as the days get shorter.

I can feel myself becoming the monster that I wished for.

As I sit in the cloudy room,

all my heart wants to do is scream;

"someone come save her"

But instead,

I take hits from the weed and take shots from the cheap vodka.