Are feet shoes the book of jokes and mess ups

Clever jokes

#1
Person 1- I feel horrible,I look bad,I feel fat,I'm ugly,I really need a complement
Person2- you never tell a lie

#2
Person 1- do you have a Facebook?
Person 2- no
Person 1- do you have whatsapp?
Person 2- no
Person 1- do you have Twitter?
Person 2- no
Person 1- what do you have?
Person 2- a life!!!!
Person 1- good I can use it for candy crush

#3
Dad- son,you better pass this test or forget I'm ever your father
Son- ummmmm okay dad
*School is over*
Dad-so how was the test
Son-do I know you?

#4
Seven
Crappy
Hours
Of
Our
Lives

#5
Mom-why are you in the fridge? We just had dinner and there are no leftovers because you ate it all

Son-because mom I'm on a seafood diet I see food and I eat it

#6
Rude popular girl-*talking to friends* I am soooo running out of places to put my designer shoes

Me-*whispers to friends* did y'all hear what she just said?

Friends-yea geez she really needs a life

Me-she is running out of places to put her shoes while I'm running out of places to hide bodies

#7
Best friend- why did you steal my favorite shirt?

Me-no,no,no I did not steal it I just ummm borrowed it :)