Always Have Been, Always Will Be | ✓

32

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Chapter 32

Trainwrecks

Malakas ang kabog na aking dibdib. I felt like my stomach was up to my chest after feeling the spreading of my cold blood flowing through my body, leaving frostbites along its way.

I knew this day would come, but I didn't expect it to be so soon—especially not now that I couldn't take any more punch in the gut.

Like a pile of bricks, those uncertainties I was long anticipating were finally building up on my weight, making the pressure pulling me to the ground stronger. Tila bang hindi sila mauubos at patuloy lang ang pagdating upang mas madagdagan pa ang dinadala ko. Problems just kept on coming with no assurance of ever stopping, like they were meant to eventually emerge from the corners and now was the right time...to fully make me crash and burn.

"Mom..."

Tumambad sa aking harapan si mommy. Nakaupo siya sa isang sofa, kaharap sina Thaianara at Tita Nara na mukhang kanina pa kabado. She was dressed in a sophisticated black dress as if she also just arrived from where she spent the night.

Napalingon sa akin si Thaianara at Tita Nara, sabay ang pagmilog ng kanilang mga mata.

"E-Elize..." si Thaianara at wala sa sariling tumayo. Sumunod naman si Tita Nara at tiningnan lang din ako.

Nakatuon lamang kay mommy ang aking mga mata, bahagyang yumuyuko ang ulo at puno ng pinaghalong kaba at kapagurang nanatili sa aking mukha.

Yesterday when I received her message, I was left dumbfounded. I was petrified on my stance before being attacked by severe anxiety. Kaagad na pumasok sa isipan ko si Sauyer, at kung paano ko ulit siya pakitunguhan pagkatapos kong bumalik sa pag-uusap kay mommy. Kanina, sinigurado kong mapagsabihan siyang may bibilhin lang ako para hindi ulit magtataka kung nasaan ako, 'tsaka nagtungo sa bahay nila Thaianara.

I didn't know what she wanted to talk about with me, and why she all of a sudden came home. Hindi ko napigilang isipin na baka mayroong nagsumbong sa kaniya...

Mommy was about to sip on her tea when she saw me standing in front by the door frame. Tinapunan niya ako ng tingin bago inilapag pabalik ang tsaa sa mesa. Tumayo siya at pinako ako ng tingin, pagkatapos ay pinanliitan ng mga mata habang sinusuri ang aking ayos.

I swallowed.

"I'm sorry, Elize. I didn't know what to do..." I heard Tita Nara's apologetic tone beside me, but I paid her no attention and only nodded, feeling a little betrayed yet again.

"Elize, I swear. Wala akong kinalaman dito. I even tried to stop mommy but she was too worried about you..." Si Thaianara.

I pursed my lips after I saw mommy crossing her arms.

"Care to explain, Elize?" Her cold tone enveloped my ears.

I chuckled lightly to ease my thumping chest. "What do I have to explain, mom?"

Her brows shot up, as if a little taken aback by my remark.

She sighed. "Do I really have to mention your failures one by one? I talked with your adviser earlier and she told me you've been missing school for several weeks now."