Always Have Been, Always Will Be | ✓

33

Trigger Warning: Homophobia, Parental negligence, Abuse

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Chapter 33

Myopic

"Ang kapal ng mukha mo, Elizabeth. Dinala mo pa talaga 'yan dito sa pamamahay ko!"

"Apo mo pa rin siya, Ma. Hindi naman kami magtatagal dito, humihingi lang ako ng kaunting tulo—"

"At umaasa kang tutulungan kita?!" My grandmother's voice ricocheted against the walls of their house as she screamed back at my mother.

Mommy's faint sobs followed.

"Just a little lang, Ma. It d-doesn't hurt. Malapit na akong maubusan ng ipapaaral kay Elize!"

"That's a you problem, Elizabeth. Sana inisip mo muna 'yan bago ka nagpabuntis sa kung kaninong lalake lang!"

"What's done is done. I already admitted to my mistakes, I'm just asking for a little—"

"And I said no!" Putol niya kay Mommy. Grandma's voice was marked with finality. "You made your bed, now lay on it. Wala kayong pinagkaiba ni Naiara! Puro malalandi!"

"M-Mom—"

"Alam mo ba kung gaano ako nahirapan sa pagharap ng mga chismosa? Na palaging tinatanong kung totoo ba raw na ang tanging dalawa kong anak na babae ay maagang nabuntis? Tapos ngayon, may kapal pa kayo sa mukhang humingi ng pera?!"

Despite me being in the other room, I could still hear their loud voices being exchanged from one to another. At that time, I was clueless on what was happening. The only thing I knew was that mommy suddenly woke me up in my sleep earlier this morning and told me that I had to get ready because we were going somewhere.

I was fidgeting my fingers, wandering my eyes around the living room while kicking my feet that barely reached the floor at the same time. I tried to divert my attention from the loud noises and focused them into the paintings and pictures of sceneries attached to the wall. They looked so pretty.

Then, I heard footsteps approaching me.

"A-Ah, baby Elize, sumama ka muna sa 'kin, puwede ba?" Untag ng isang dalagang kasambahay sa akin kaya napunta sa kaniya ang aking atensyon.

Sinuri ko ang kaniyang mukha at bahagyang nagtaka sa kabadong ekspresyon. Hindi ko na iyon pinuna pa at tumango na lang.

Dinala niya ako sa isang silid na puno ng mga libro at sinubukang libangin ng mga pambatang laruan subalit hindi ko siya pinagtuonan ng pansin. Nasa mga libro na ngayon ang aking mga mata, kuryusong tinitingnan ang mga ito.

"Libro? Gusto mo magbasa?" Tanong niya nang mapansing doon nakatutok ang aking paningin.

Tumango ako kaya agad siyang humablot ng isang libro at ibinigay sa akin. Umupo ako sa sahig at binuksan ito saka sinimulang basahin ang kung ano man ang nilalaman no'n. She crouched beside me and observed.

"Wow, marunong ka na magbasa? Ilang taon ka na, Elize?" She craned her neck to see my face.

My eyes remained fixated on the pages. "Dapat lang po marunong ako magbasa, five na ako, e," matabang kong sagot.