Let Me Love You

Chapter 7

Rachel POV

"So what were you doing last night that I couldn't come and meet my godchild?" Lucy asked, plopping herself down on the sofa beside me. She handed me my glass of red wine.

"Nothing, I did nothing. I just..." I sighed, knowing I had to tell her. "I invited Lisa for dinner as a thank you."

I avoided looking at her because I knew the expression she had on her face right now: shock.

"Rachel, you called my student to your house for a thank-you dinner, and you told—no, you ordered—me not to come over. What the heck?" she said, exaggerating.

Of course, she would exaggerate such a small thing. "Stop screaming," I said, covering my ears.

"Oh, don't you dare. You know she has a crush on you, and you invited her to dinner and told me not to come. What were you thinking? That something was going to happen between the two of you?" she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

I just glared at her. "No, Lucy, stop saying that. Nothing will happen between me and her. I mean, don't you see the age gap? I can't and wouldn't pursue anything, even if I wanted to. But I won't with her. She can't handle a grown woman with a kid; she's a kid herself. That's too much responsibility for her." I stopped myself from saying what I really wanted to say.

"Why am I assuming there was a 'but' supposed to be there?" she asked.

I sighed and fully turned to her. "Lucy, you know how, back when I first started dating Henry, I'd come to you and tell you about those butterflies in my stomach? Or how just looking at Henry, even a single glimpse of his face, would put a smile on my face? It's just... just like that."

I looked at her, and she was waiting for me to continue.

"It's just... I feel those feelings again. With her," I said in a low voice.

"Wow, that's good, right? You're feeling something for her," Lucy responded.

I furrowed my brows at her. "What are you saying, Luce? I can't feel this way about her. Last night, when she was leaving, I hugged her, but she didn't hug me back. Then, when I was pulling away, she hugged me back tightly. After two years, that one simple hug from her made me feel... safe," I said, sighing and raking my fingers through my hair.

"Rachel, I know Lisa. She's a good kid and—"

"No, Luce, I'm telling you this because I can't. I'm going on a date tomorrow with a guy I met online. I want to move on with my life, and Lisa is not the person," I said firmly. "This is the right thing to do. Maybe it's just an infatuation for both of us. She's a kid. What if, in the future, she leaves me for someone her own age because she can't handle being in a relationship with a woman who has a kid? I need to think about Harry too. He is my world."

"Rachel, denying your feelings—"

"Oh God, Luce, I'm not denying my feelings. I know I have them for her, but I'm sure it's just temporary. Okay, so tomorrow, I need you to babysit Henry at your house," I said, changing the subject.

This made Lucy mad. "My house? Don't think you're going to bring him home and have sex on the first date," she said, raising her voice at me.

"Jesus, Luce, no. He's coming here for dinner and nothing else," I said, standing up for a refill.

"Rachel, are you serious?" she asked, following me to the cellar.

"Yes, and now can we drop the talk? You wanted me to move on, so here I am, trying to move on," I told her, getting slightly irritated as to why she wasn't siding with me. "Enough talk about Lisa, okay?" I said, glaring at her.