Let Me Love You

Chapter 11

Do we look like ants to people up in airplanes? If we didn't have any paper to write on, would everyone in the world be uneducated? How long can a human being survive without any food, living only on vodka? I questioned myself as I walked down the pathway in the park. I took a gulp from the vodka bottle I bought from the supermarket. Life isn't unfair, is it? Why is the world filled with more cruel people than good people? No, I'm not calling Rachel a cruel person. This is just a normal thought and maybe a confession. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why were my parents taken away from me? Why? I could have had my parents; they would still be here if...Headlights?

"Lisa, careful!" I heard a voice and felt a hand on my arm pulling me back. I screamed in panic. Am I being kidnapped?

"Hey, leave me! Leave me!" I screamed, feeling the person's arm tightening around my waist, my head resting on their chest.

"Hey, hey, stop fighting. It's me. It's me, Rachel," she said. I stopped struggling. Oh, it's Rachel. Stupid Lisa. I pulled away from her, steadying myself by gripping her arms.

"Rachel! It's you. Haha. Wait, what are you doing here? You—you should be in the club," I slurred.

She squinted at me. "Are you drunk?" she questioned.

I looked up at the sky, then back at her. "Well—it depe—depends. Do you think I—I am drunk?" I said, staring into her beautiful eyes. Even in my drunken state, my mind reminded me of the kiss at her house and in the bar. She doesn't want me. I quickly pulled back from her, putting a large distance between us.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"Lisa, now is not the time to ask questions. I should take you home," Rachel said, walking toward me. I took a step back and chuckled, shaking my head.

"Go home with you? No can do, Rach." I muttered smiling widely.

"Lisa, just come. It is not safe here." she muttered taking a step closer to me.

I shook my head again. I couldn't go with her. I just wanted to stay away from her right now. "I can call Jenna to pick me up. You can leave," I said, taking out my phone from my pocket.

She scoffed, which made me look up at her. "You want to call the woman who left you at the bar?" she shot back, sounding offended that I was calling Jenna for help. Trust me, she wasn't the one who left.

"And now what? Is that a problem for you if she left me or I left her?" I asked, slightly raising my voice. I sighed, regretting raising my voice at her. It's not her fault if she doesn't like me back. I shook my head. 

"Hey, sorry I raised my voice. You're just trying to help. I get it." I looked up and stared into her eyes. "But it's okay. I'll call Jenna or Nolan for help." I walked away from her, heading to the nearest bench simultaneously keeping myself steady and took a seat

Life. Life is pretty unfair. I brought the vodka bottle to my lips and chugged the rest of it down. Cringing at the burning sensation, I shrieked. I took out my phone, texting Jenna to see if she could pick me up, and sent her my location. As I clicked the send button, my whole body shook from the windy weather. I should have worn Jenna's jacket when she offered it earlier.

"You cold?" Rachel asked. I didn't respond and just nodded my head. Why is she here? She could have just left me alone. I looked straight ahead at the empty park with only two or three people around. Maybe they were lonely too, or maybe going through something.

"No talking?" she questioned. I didn't open my mouth. Why bother?

Because I don't trust my drunk self. I could spill every single secret about my life to her, secrets only Nolan knows. Right now, I'm drinking because I'm hurting, not because I'm happy. Rachel sighed and sat down beside me.

"Well, I would give you my jacket or scarf to cover yourself from the wind if I had one. Sadly, I don't. But someone close to me once said that when two people hug, they generate heat. I've tested this theory, and it works." She said and slowly but carefully scooted towards me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to her. I didn't fight it. I let her do whatever she wanted. She was right or whoever that person was it did create a warmth. A soft warmth which I had not felt in years, it gave me a sense of comfort.

Her arms encircled my waist and shoulders in a tight grip, my head resting on her chest. It felt good. But I knew I had to savor it because it wouldn't last long.

"Are you crying?" she asked, pulling back a bit. I furrowed my eyebrows, lifted my hand, and touched my cheek, feeling the wetness on my palm. I was crying. Damn. I quickly pulled away and stood up. My emotions were all over the place.

"Hey, hey, what happened?" Rachel asked, standing right behind me. I shrugged off her hand from my shoulder and walked away.

"Lisa, where are you going?" she called out, trying to catch up. I ignored her and walked faster. My steps came to a stop when I felt her hand on my wrist.

"Lisa, are you okay? Why are you running away from me?" she asked, but I didn't look at her. I couldn't. I was scared. Scared that I might expose my past to her. Scared that her knowing I have feelings for her might make her walk away.

"I'm just walking home, and I think you should go home too," I muttered.

She sighed. "Lisa, is—"

"Lisa!" I heard Jenna's voice. Jenna was here. Thank God, Jenna was here.

Rachel Pov

"Lisa, are you drunk?" the blonde woman asked, moving forward. I stepped in front of Lisa, stopping her from coming any closer. This was the same woman who kissed Lisa at the café, the same woman Lisa was with at the bar tonight.

"She's fine. I'm just dropping her home," I explained, feeling irritated. Why was she here?

"Oh, it's no problem. Lisa texted me asking for a ride. You can go home; I'll take her," she said. No way in hell was I letting Lisa go with this blonde woman who started flirting with someone else in the club the moment Lisa left. Lisa is hurt; she doesn't need anyone else to hurt her more. That includes you too, my subconscious reminded me.

I shook my head and focused on Lisa, who was clearly too drunk to understand what was happening around her. "Oh, no, it's no issue," I said, with a bit of attitude. "I can drop her home."

The blonde woman chuckled. "Why don't we let Lisa decide who she wants to go with?" she said, smirking as if she already knew Lisa's response. 

"Lisa, honey, who do you want to go home with?" she asked, as Lisa was distracted by the sight of two squirrels fighting in a nearby tree.

A smile crept onto my face, seeing her get so interested in such small things. "Lisa," Jenna said a bit louder to get her attention.

"Jenna!" Lisa exclaimed happily, jumping into her arms. Seeing Lisa jump and hug this blonde woman like her life depended on it made me feel something in my chest. I stepped back a bit. She was happy the moment she realized Jenna was here. She is happy, at least. I am—I am feeling... Hurt? But why? Why am I feeling this just because she finds her happiness in her and not me?

"I—I, um, just realized I have to leave," I said, stuttering and avoiding eye contact. "I have some work to do. It's good you're here, I guess. You can drop her home now. Bye," I said, smiling sweetly and walking away. 

I wanted to be the one there with Lisa instead of her. The only question is, why did I want that so badly?