Clato: The Cost of a Broken Heart

Chapter 29

CLOVE

My days find a new pattern. Instead of drug addled relief I survive through Cato. He and I still live in fear of Snow. I do my best to avoid him during the day but it has come to the point where I simply cannot live without him. The risk is high but Brutus does his best to help us. Enobaria casts an accusing eye from time to time but nothing has changed, really. Each day we suffer through the ceremonies. The speeches don't get better but miraculously the crowds don't seem to hate us. It's as if they can tell we don't mean it. I'm not sure what this means for Cato and I but the tides are starting to turn.

The best part of my day is the end. After struggling through parades and parties and having to act like a cold-blooded killer I am exhausted. Today we leave district 7 behind. When all the lights are off Cato sneaks in and joins me. I still don't know how I feel about him exactly, but I feel safe when he falls asleep beside me.

At breakfast, Brutus nods to let me know nothing has happened. The president has not retaliated. It's crazy living in this state but I don't care. I've hit my fear limit and I'm done. I am Clove Fuhman. I will not be afraid.

The real problem comes during my fitting. I didn't even know the tributes from 6 but Nef likes to doll me up every time. He and I have a special agreement about my locket. It's the one Favian gave me when I was 11. It matches ones I've seen his dead love, Alice, wearing in pictures. I guess I feel like if he can love her, he can love me.

Anyways, Nef lets me keep it on but the dress I have today is sleeveless and rather low cut. I shoot Nef a glare but he shrugs and blows me a kiss. Gah. I can't believe he's making me wear this.

Cato walks in, dressed up in a blue shirt to match his eyes. He checks the room for cameras and sidles over. "Hey Clover, nice dress." I cross my arms and give him a glare. Somehow things are different during the day, heavier. So Cato making little comments set me more on edge than spending the night next to him. He plays with my locket and I gulp. He's awfully close. The image of him kissing me in the dining car comes into focus. "When are you going to tell me about this?" I back away and grip the locket.

"When you tell me about your bruises." They're only just done fading but Cato's been covered with bruises since that day on my terrace.

"Okay," he says. Cato watches me as he talks. "After we came back from the Games I was so angry. I found myself wandering a lot and I came across this little bar underground. They host fights. It helped to go there and hurt other people. Most of the time I'd sign up for too many and get beat up by the end of the night. That was what I was really there for, I wanted to hurt." He sighs, "You're not the only one who understands pain."

It takes a moment for me to register this. Cato being beaten up? My Indestructible Cato? That can't be right. But I know he's telling the truth. I also know how badly someone must have hurt him to cause Cato that kind of pain. For the second time I am reminded that Cato also has demons.

"I wish you wouldn't let yourself get hurt, but I understand."

"You're not mad?"

"We all have our ways of coping." I can't help but worry that Cato has become mine. Cato looks at me and sighs again.

"Yes, we do." I can't help but think maybe I'm not the only one using the other to cope.

"Your turn."

"Excuse me?"

"What's with the locket, Clover." He says it as if he already know the answer. Why did I agree to tell him about it?

"Favian gave it to me when I was a kid. It's the same as the one Alice used to wear." I avoid looking at Cato, who is visibly trying not to shout.

"That's the girl Favian loved, right?" Cato growls. I nod miserably. "Why are you still wearing it?" I don't respond. "Answer me, Clove." I flinch at my name. "After everything he's done Favian doesn't deserve your love."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"Take it off." He growls. I know I should but not even Cato gets to tell me what to do. I will let go of Favian on my own, when I'm ready.

"No. That's not your decision." I am surprisingly calm.

"This is Favian we're talking about. He's a monster. He hurt you so many times and now you're telling me you keep a necklace he gave you on at all times? Don't you realize this is just another part of his sick game to turn you into his dead girlfriend!"

"That's not at all what's happening! Leave it be Cato!" Thankfully Brutus comes in before Cato and I start tearing each other apart.

"C'mon kiddos, let's get this over with." He guides us out to the platform. Cato gives me one last angry look as the crowds of District 6 greet us. It won't be hard to act like we hate each other tonight.

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A/N Sorry this took so long, hope you liked it! Please comment and vote!